I vented my pants, middle of the night.
There wasn't much light. . .had to carefully sight.
I got it lined up oh so carefully.
I let it fly and I started to stream pee.

Oh, streamed pea, aimed so carefully,
Can't take a chance when I must go nocturnally.
Oh, streamed pea--I watch the amber swirls.
Does it go the same way other side of the world?

I heard a noise and so I looked askance,
Slithered my pee-snake, like a fer de lance,*
Trying to wrap itself all the way 'round me.
I looked back in horror at where I streamed pee.

Oh, streamed pee, aimed erratically,
Inundates pants and the lavatory.
Oh, streamed pea--I watch the amber swirls
Hit the blow dryer with which my wife make curls.

I finally got it twisted, but it wasn't yet sere,
Still pissin', it was misting her lipstick, I feared.
It was still angled up. . .held it closer to me,
Lowered the bar too far; to my feet streamed pee.

No streamed pees--finally it did cease,
But my bathroom looked like the seven seas.
Oh streamed pea--I watched the amber swirl
Eddy beneath the floorboards, which started to curl.

*large African snake