I was drivin' down the street
Tryin' to avoid the truck on right
Traffic was piled up in front of me
And I exclaimed "This just can't be right"
I pulled some faces - got mad
Drove over to the gutter
Looked the street up and down a bit
Wondered why I bother

I say
Got my plane ticket oh no
I'll be late
Got my plane ticket no no
I'll be late
Don't you know I'd prefer
That my trip be perfect
Don't you know I'd prefer
That my progress was unchecked

Well I was starting to show the strain
Leaned out and started to holler
I said "You've got to be jokin' man"
This circumvents my trip to Mother
I said I'm late for the airport
I'll miss it when it lands
And they'll refuse to refund me
I need to call Pan-Am - where's a payphone?
I want to go home

And I say
I don't like delays no no
They're deadly
I don't like delays no ah
They're deadly
Don't you know I'm stressed?
Don't you know I must bitch?
Don't you see that quite soon
I will be fully unhinged?

Ain't gonna get to the swimming pool
Drink no pina coladas
I then did realise to my dismay
Missed exit for LaGuardia
I say I see it - I passed it
You've guessed that I'm depressed
And there's no U-turn - I must stay
And wallow in a Gridlock Holiday

And I say
Don't like this traffic oh no
It's stressful, yea
Don't like this traffic oh no
It's stressful, oh yea
Don't you know I'd prefer
That my trip be perfect
Don't you know I'd prefer
That my progress was unchecked

I don't like traffic oh no
Start shooting (Gridlock Holiday)
I don't like delays oh no
My nine-gauge (Gridlock Holiday)
Don't like the traffic
Arrest me (Gridlock Holiday)