Chick-pea pita, twelve inches long
Great sustain-ing meal; it's gonzo!
No-o-o-ote: chick peas: Spanish, they're known as "garbanzo"
'nited States: South sees them as bliss [1]
Have one your way; you should go try it
You-ou-ou will see that they're not so bad; you'll buy it

Chick-pea pita: good for your health
No choles-ter-ol; no fryin' [2]
Doo- oo --oom: impend; ev'ryone: obese and dyin'
Lose weight; one sure cure for your "shelf"
Cook the beans and mash 'em together
Fre- e -esh-baked, pita bread: light as a feather

Overweight, all; you and I know
How the heart pipes plug; athero-sclero-scars, they're leaving
Take no chances: stick to them, and your veins will mend [3]
You will feel sublime: weight, heaving
Chick-pea pita: staple, rely
Everyone, each girl and each guy, your dining, will love you
Let us cheer'ly sling one more; if he did, Al Gore --
-- Thin, would still be, like a cheetah
Buy at store; they're cheap; won't be poor
String or new thong? Check rear, Rita

Little balls you crumble and ground
And you'll lose those darn love handles
Fla- a -ab is gone! To the beach! Swim-suit and sandals
Chick-pea pita: help keep your youth
And it's one way: keep doctor quiet
Fa-a-at free; phat! you'll be so glad: this diet

Chick-pea pita, where'd it first show?
From the Mid-East; Mediterranean: parts were leaving [4]
You're enhancing waste, to slim; and be vain: rear end
Folks will stare be-yond believing
Can secrete them long, 'cause they're dry [5]
It's no fun to fill jeans at thigh, and hiney above them
This crop clearly crops -- off your ... puffy muffin tops
Have a nice, long, chick-pea pita
Hum-mus, more; let us dip, galore
Slimmin' you down, chick-pea pita
Waffles, pour? Try falafel more [6]
Zingy new thing, chick-pea pita




[1] Very popular in the US South, and in regions with high Hispanic, Middle-East, or Western Asian or Indian populations. Not so well-known in other areas of the US.

[2] For those who DK, cholesterol is found *only* in foods of animal origin.
Recent studies by government agencies have shown that chick-peas can assist in lowering of cholesterol in the bloodstream, but as with the claims for oat bran, etc., *any* high-fiber diet can do that. Consult a real doctor before taking medical advice from parodists.

[3] Arteries, actually, but that doesn't match TOS "pain".

[4] One of the earliest cultivated vegetables. 7,500-year-old remains have been found in the Middle East. They spread throughout the Mediterranean region; ancient Greece and Rome enjoyed them. In southern France, a cave yielded wild chickpeas carbon-dated to about 7,000 B.C.

[5] Dried beans and legumes store very well for long periods without refrigeration, which was a good thing in hot climates where refrigeration hadn't been invented yet.
Fun factoid: A 3,500-year-old.wheat berry was found in an Egyptian pyramid tomb. They put it in moist soil, and it sprouted very nicely.

[6] Falafel = fried patty or ball made from ground chickpeas. Though fried, it's still better for you than a hamburger; often used in "veggie-burgers".
"Hummus" (from the intro) = paste made from cooked, ground chick-peas, usually seasoned or spiced.