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Song Parodies -> "Shvantz Is Clean (ABBA Hall Of Fame Induction Tribute, Vol. IV)"
Original Song Title:
"Dancing Queen"
(MP3)Original Performer:
ABBA
Parody Song Title:
"Shvantz Is Clean (ABBA Hall Of Fame Induction Tribute, Vol. IV)"
Parody Written by:
Tommy Turtle
The Lyrics
This is not a racy parody, it's a a Public Service Announcement, continuing this week's trubutes to ABBA being inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame on Monday, March 15, 2010.
Besides, this is one turtle who would always wear his shell in a new relationship, until the whole STD screening routine was done.
Perk-you-up OS video with excellent text lyrics here.
Besides, this is one turtle who would always wear his shell in a new relationship, until the whole STD screening routine was done.
Perk-you-up OS video with excellent text lyrics here.
Who'd take chance?
You could die
STDs: risking your life
See that guy
Lab test, seen
Provin' his shvantz is clean
Friday night, and I'm all aglow
Lookin' out for some quim; pro: no
Promise: I won't make you sick
Don't "got" anythng
You, Hon: One look, 'n let's swing
Neither gonorr' or syph, have I
Herpes, AIDS? I'm a choosy ... guy
Carefully, my c**k, use it; every single time
Get in the nude; take a glance
Go 'head [1], inspect my lance....
You'll find my shvantz is clean
Done; complete, the entire screen
Shvantz is clean; naught to treat; passed the whole routine!
Oh, yeah!
Make romance
"Come, alive"!
(Hoping you're not someone's wife)
See me, girl
Love machine
Friggin', but safe; serene
No diseases: concern is gone
Cleave: blem? Spurnin' this fem; won't ... spawn [2]
Looking for a hot ... Mother-- !
I believe you'll do!
Wanna get scr*wed? Let us "dance"
I have no ants in pants..... [3]
Chancres on shvantz, not seen
Ain't that sweet? (You're at least eighteen?)
Be my Queen; feel the meat: mighty "c-lean" cuisine,
Oh, yeah!
Life, enhance;
Tool, sublime
USDA grades it "prime" [4]
See this, girl?
Crotch ain't green [5]
Dig in! Advance the scene...
Riggin' the trampoline...
[repeat (boing, boing, ... ) to fade and frayed, but not 'fraid]
[1[ so to speak... (elision of "ahead", but, uh... ;)
[2] i. e. "blemish" on the Cleaver = no dice.
[3] Nor lice.
[4] US Dept. of Agriculture, responsible for inspection of meat products, etc. "Prime" = highest grade.
[5] Aside from the vivid imagery, also fulfills the "madatory" St. Patty's Day requirement for a green reference. ;)
You could die
STDs: risking your life
See that guy
Lab test, seen
Provin' his shvantz is clean
Friday night, and I'm all aglow
Lookin' out for some quim; pro: no
Promise: I won't make you sick
Don't "got" anythng
You, Hon: One look, 'n let's swing
Neither gonorr' or syph, have I
Herpes, AIDS? I'm a choosy ... guy
Carefully, my c**k, use it; every single time
Get in the nude; take a glance
Go 'head [1], inspect my lance....
You'll find my shvantz is clean
Done; complete, the entire screen
Shvantz is clean; naught to treat; passed the whole routine!
Oh, yeah!
Make romance
"Come, alive"!
(Hoping you're not someone's wife)
See me, girl
Love machine
Friggin', but safe; serene
No diseases: concern is gone
Cleave: blem? Spurnin' this fem; won't ... spawn [2]
Looking for a hot ... Mother-- !
I believe you'll do!
Wanna get scr*wed? Let us "dance"
I have no ants in pants..... [3]
Chancres on shvantz, not seen
Ain't that sweet? (You're at least eighteen?)
Be my Queen; feel the meat: mighty "c-lean" cuisine,
Oh, yeah!
Life, enhance;
Tool, sublime
USDA grades it "prime" [4]
See this, girl?
Crotch ain't green [5]
Dig in! Advance the scene...
Riggin' the trampoline...
[repeat (boing, boing, ... ) to fade and frayed, but not 'fraid]
[1[ so to speak... (elision of "ahead", but, uh... ;)
[2] i. e. "blemish" on the Cleaver = no dice.
[3] Nor lice.
[4] US Dept. of Agriculture, responsible for inspection of meat products, etc. "Prime" = highest grade.
[5] Aside from the vivid imagery, also fulfills the "madatory" St. Patty's Day requirement for a green reference. ;)
This public service message was brought to you by, and © 2010, Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved. E-mail: tomm...@yahoo.com
Your Vote & Comment Counts
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Voting Breakdown
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| 4 | 0 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 5 | 8 | 7 | 7 |
User Comments
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I'll "applaud" for this...your parody has made me nervous about using the term "clap"! ;D
Educated and laughing at the same time - glad to see you got the "green" in there today.
Sexually sophisticated
May the shvantz be with ewe.
Clap! Clap! Clap! And apparently the powers that be here on Amiright also thought this parody was clean (enough for passing the adult material censorship).
Fives for this whimsical "shell" game!!
LOL'ster: Okay, Tommy--Now you're really starting to Streep me out!
Laugh'sputin: I think this one's from 'Kama--' Mia!
Seriously funny work from, er, Tumessey Turtle?!
Laugh'sputin: I think this one's from 'Kama--' Mia!
Seriously funny work from, er, Tumessey Turtle?!
Just heard the original recently. This was much more risque than ABBA was, and funny! 5's
Old Man Ribber: And that is much appreciated! :-)
Tik: Nice to accomplish two goals in one parody -- make that three! Thanks for v/c!
AFW: Which is better than being sexually fisticated... :)
John Barry: And may you never have a dam care in your life, and all the beavers you want.
Peter Andersson: It might have helped that there *was* a serious message behind it, one that *cannot* be repeated too often these days: Stay safe. Thanks for giving me the clap!
Mark Scotti: Just glad it didn't "rubber" the wrong way!!
LOL'ster n' Laugh'sputin: "Kama Mia" -- now, "there's" a title switchin' itchin' to be pitchin'! Go to it! (Also, "Karma Mia", though that would not have any intimacy implications.)
Phil Nelson: I expect we'll all be hearing a lot more of ABBA this week, what with the publicity from the incident being tributed. You might want to check out their music sometime -- its all on YouTube™ -- or then again, you might not. Thanks for v/c.
Tik: Nice to accomplish two goals in one parody -- make that three! Thanks for v/c!
AFW: Which is better than being sexually fisticated... :)
John Barry: And may you never have a dam care in your life, and all the beavers you want.
Peter Andersson: It might have helped that there *was* a serious message behind it, one that *cannot* be repeated too often these days: Stay safe. Thanks for giving me the clap!
Mark Scotti: Just glad it didn't "rubber" the wrong way!!
LOL'ster n' Laugh'sputin: "Kama Mia" -- now, "there's" a title switchin' itchin' to be pitchin'! Go to it! (Also, "Karma Mia", though that would not have any intimacy implications.)
Phil Nelson: I expect we'll all be hearing a lot more of ABBA this week, what with the publicity from the incident being tributed. You might want to check out their music sometime -- its all on YouTube™ -- or then again, you might not. Thanks for v/c.
Mr. Turtle, this was quite an ingenious lampoon of this peculiar song about a dancing monarch and truly an educational journey through the underbelly of disease.
Debon: Thank you very much. ("underbelly" of disease -- was that deliberate? LOL anyway!;)
(FWIW, I don't think the song being lampooned implied an actual monarch; only the leader or best at dancing -- like calling Elvis Presley "The King", or Michael Jackson" The King of Pop". But I could be wrong. Cheers.)
(FWIW, I don't think the song being lampooned implied an actual monarch; only the leader or best at dancing -- like calling Elvis Presley "The King", or Michael Jackson" The King of Pop". But I could be wrong. Cheers.)
A clean and "sterile" parody, Turtle! Great take on the OS and loved the way you put humor on the disease! 555.
Christie Marie M, belated thanks!
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