Why, why, in our bathroom she could have relieved herself,
So why, did she leave the house before saying that she had to go??
She spent almost three hours in there
Without giving her bladder a care!!

Portaloo, my gal really needs you - she's gotta go,
Portaloo, now she says her pee really needs to flow!
Portaloo, she can't hold it in any longer,
Portaloo, her bladder should be bigger and stronger.
Eek Eek Eek Eek: Portaloo;
Really racing to a Waterloo!!

My my, she's tried to hold it in, but it was too much!!
Woah where, is a portaloo so she can give up the fight??
She won't just go behind a tree-
There must be somewhere she can pee!!

Portaloo, my gal really needs you - she's gotta go,
Portaloo, now she says her pee really needs to flow!!
Portaloo, she can't hold it in any longer,
Portaloo, her bladder should be bigger and stronger.
Eek-Eek-Eek-Eek: Portaloo;
Really racing to a Waterloo!!

Now I'm starting to cross my legs!!
Why can't her bladder be like two kegs??

Portaloo, please do not say our fates are sealed!!
PORTALOO, THERE ARE TWO IN THAT FIELD!!
Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Portaloo-
Finally facing two Portaloos!!
Waddle-waddle-waddle-waddle! Portaloo!!
Knowing that fate says we can now go....
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Portaloo.
Bladders empty we leave the portaloos!!
Now I know my car seats stay clean
Thanks to the use of a portaloo....