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Song Parodies -> "I'm Still Off the Net"
Original Song Title:
"I'm A Marionette"
Original Performer:
ABBA
Parody Song Title:
"I'm Still Off the Net"
Parody Written by:
Ingeborg S. Nordén
The Lyrics
After waiting several hours for my ISP to fix a systemwide outage, I felt this parody nearly writing itself.
[SFX: longish instrumental intro, followed by modem dial-in sounds and furious mouse-clicking]
Woe is me:
Server problems at my ISP.
Tech support gave me the run-around;
no one's found
help, you see.
Something's wrong--
even dial-in shouldn't take this long!
System errors that they couldn't place,
couldn't trace--
What ding-dongs!
CHORUS:
I'm still off the net,
I'm still off the net--
Click the screen.
I'm still off the net,
see me look upset:
"Error 718"?
I'm still off the net--
wonder what would get
systems down?
I'm still off the net,
haven't made it yet--
trouble all over town.
Tried to call:
couldn't speak with anyone at all.
Some recording told me "Yes, it's dead--
keep your head, don't you bawl!"
[SFX: very long instrumental Muzak interlude, interspersed with "All technicians are busy" announcements]
Crying shame--
not as if I have myself to blame.
Still, I try to keep my self-control
while I hold--
it's insane!
CHORUS
"Try today
in a little while", that's what they say.
"We're depending on our service staff"--
what a laugh, they're away!
CHORUS
Woe is me:
server problems at my ISP.
Tech support gave me the run-around;
no one's found
help, you see.
Woe is me:
Server problems at my ISP.
Tech support gave me the run-around;
no one's found
help, you see.
Something's wrong--
even dial-in shouldn't take this long!
System errors that they couldn't place,
couldn't trace--
What ding-dongs!
CHORUS:
I'm still off the net,
I'm still off the net--
Click the screen.
I'm still off the net,
see me look upset:
"Error 718"?
I'm still off the net--
wonder what would get
systems down?
I'm still off the net,
haven't made it yet--
trouble all over town.
Tried to call:
couldn't speak with anyone at all.
Some recording told me "Yes, it's dead--
keep your head, don't you bawl!"
[SFX: very long instrumental Muzak interlude, interspersed with "All technicians are busy" announcements]
Crying shame--
not as if I have myself to blame.
Still, I try to keep my self-control
while I hold--
it's insane!
CHORUS
"Try today
in a little while", that's what they say.
"We're depending on our service staff"--
what a laugh, they're away!
CHORUS
Woe is me:
server problems at my ISP.
Tech support gave me the run-around;
no one's found
help, you see.
Your Vote & Comment Counts
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Place Your Vote |
Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 4 | 3 | 10 | 7 | ||||||||
| 5 | 17 | 9 | 12 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
Should have put this in the comments, but--before people get on me about pacing, the vocalist in the original does indeed sing "marionette" as three syllables.
I empathize with the PC frustration you so aptly describe here...Good job....DKTOS...but, good writing..
Your pacing is fine. Your server needs to pick up the pace. Five's for you. A big fat zero for them.
I totally agree with you on this parody. Made me smile
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