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Song Parodies -> "I've Never Laid a Southern Californian"
Original Song Title:
"It Never Rains In Southern California"
Original Performer:
Albert Hammond
Parody Song Title:
"I've Never Laid a Southern Californian"
Parody Written by:
Stuart McArthur
The Lyrics
no, not autobiographical, people! - (I've laid thousands of 'em)
Got on
board a west-bound 7-47
coz I know there's something I just gotta do
oh, I've seen a lot of Baywatch
O.C, Melrose, day-soaps
It's true • it's gotta be true
see, I've never laid a Southern Californian
seems I must be the one bloke whose score is nil
I've never laid a Californian
but surely
by the morning
I will! Man, I will!
I'm out to score, I'm out to bed
unlike POTUS Bill, I don't want head
it's understood they can't be dead, or mentally ill
I've never laid a Californian
but surely by the morning
I will! Man, I will!
Will you tell the folks back home, I really wowed ‘em
that I had girls queueing up to have a root
Please don't tell them how they tied me
up, and then defiled me
took my wallet
took my suit
So I never laid a Southern Californian
In Frisco, San Diego, or LA
I never laid a Californian
because (and heed my warning)
they're gay! Man, they're gay!
board a west-bound 7-47
coz I know there's something I just gotta do
oh, I've seen a lot of Baywatch
O.C, Melrose, day-soaps
It's true • it's gotta be true
see, I've never laid a Southern Californian
seems I must be the one bloke whose score is nil
I've never laid a Californian
but surely
by the morning
I will! Man, I will!
I'm out to score, I'm out to bed
unlike POTUS Bill, I don't want head
it's understood they can't be dead, or mentally ill
I've never laid a Californian
but surely by the morning
I will! Man, I will!
Will you tell the folks back home, I really wowed ‘em
that I had girls queueing up to have a root
Please don't tell them how they tied me
up, and then defiled me
took my wallet
took my suit
So I never laid a Southern Californian
In Frisco, San Diego, or LA
I never laid a Californian
because (and heed my warning)
they're gay! Man, they're gay!
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| 4 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 5 | 11 | 11 | 11 |
User Comments
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and you scored, man you scored?
well, er, not exactly, Royce, but don't tell "the folks back home" :-)
Enjoyable read, nice write.
LOL, Stu!
man, i roared...how i roared...5s
How long has it been since I've heard the word "root" used in this context? A bloody long time, mate....555
Frisco is not actually "Southern" California, but it does have a lot more of the topic of your last line than we Southern Californians do. Anyway, good title, good parody, good last line.
And, Stuart, congratulations on being one of the two members I know of (along with Wilt Chamberlain) of the Multi-Thousand Lay Society.
And, Stuart, congratulations on being one of the two members I know of (along with Wilt Chamberlain) of the Multi-Thousand Lay Society.
thanks Robert, thanks Arwen, thanks alvin
yes, Kristof, I actually put that in for Merry and Pippin - it's a long-running joke we've got :-)
thanks John, and yes, I was wondering if I'd get away with it - I just wanted high profile names to make sense to people unfamiliar with California, and I though Frisco's only a few hours north of LA, so...but fair point :-)
and actually, in my mind, I must be way past Will by now ;-)
yes, Kristof, I actually put that in for Merry and Pippin - it's a long-running joke we've got :-)
thanks John, and yes, I was wondering if I'd get away with it - I just wanted high profile names to make sense to people unfamiliar with California, and I though Frisco's only a few hours north of LA, so...but fair point :-)
and actually, in my mind, I must be way past Will by now ;-)
I wish they all could be Californian...
God Only Knows What we'd do without them K1 - thanks :-)
Great parody, all 5s mate. Nice to see some Aussie dialogue too!
Good on you, Troy! thanks mate :-)
Yep, you gotta watch yourself in some of those places. As for the mentally ill... there's always been some uncertainty of how sane anyone in California really is, especially where the celebrities in all of those shows are concerned.
maybe, but does that stop them banging like a dunny door? ;-)
Gee Stu, when does your plane arrive at LAX? I'll be there rooting for you... ;-)
well, Merry, touching down very shortly, and, it now seems, touching down very shortly after - LOL!
So actually, the jury's still out on whether they can be mentally ill?
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