At the start of the semester,
All my students were full of life
There were frats and nerds, and jocks and geeks
And I planned to pick their brains

The first test I gave was real easy because
I thought they should be proud
Hard it was not, and I really tried
Even so, most flunked out

I've been an instructor in a course with no A's
And I thought I was going insane
In the desert, perhaps the heat with no rain
Meant when those kids learned, too much sun burns their brains

Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb,
Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb

After two years as a desert bum
My dissertation was read
After three years with the stupid ones
To a better school I had to head
And the kids that enroll
Where the Charles River flows
Were supposed to be smart instead

You see I'd been an instructor in a course with no A's
And I thought I was going insane
In the desert, perhaps the heat with no rain
Means when those kids learned, too much sun burns their brains

Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb,
Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb

After nine days, the stuff they had to read
Was put on a pop quiz from me
And the moans I heard
Made me convinced
That these smart kids like to complain
And I was under pressure
From the folks around
Not to make my quizzes tough
And to show pity
So the kids wouldn't frown
And their parents would give lots of bucks

And so I was an instructor in a course with all A's
And I thought I was going insane
In the Ivies, the rich kids like to complain
And so god forbid you should challenge their brains

Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb,
Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb