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Song Parodies -> "Mister Olden Swear"
Original Song Title:
"Sister Golden Hair"
(MP3)Original Performer:
America
Parody Song Title:
"Mister Olden Swear"
Parody Written by:
Kristof Robertson
The Lyrics
Flibbertigibbet!!
Well, I try to curb my trash mouth, but I get so dang incensed
That I blow my top and lash out; I ain't sittin' on no fence
If you cut me up in traffic, there's a tirade on the way
Lots of "Jumpin' Joe Jehosaphat"s I'll say.
I've a fearsome reputationMister Olden Swear, 'tis I
I'm adept at confrontationone "dangnabit" makes 'em cry
I'm a total cad and blackguard, and by heck I'll say it loud
Well, geewillickers; I'm cranky and I'm proud!
When I'm angry, it's "Oh, fiddle!"
And "goshdarnit", yessiree!
I make nuns and grannies giggle
With my wild profanity
And you won't subdue me
I'm mad; so sue me
My answer's "phooey!"
By my troth, I'm near exploding; Mister Olden Swear, 'tis I
Junior jackanapes I'm goading; I'm a curmudgeonly guy
If I thump a thumb with hammer, it's a pox upon the world
But I'd never be this filthy near a girl!
When I'm angry, it's "Oh, fiddle!"
And "goshdarnit", yessiree!
Been this way since I was little
It's what my pa taught to me
And you cannot stymie
My language grimy
My answer's "blimey"
Oooh, oddsbodkins. Oooh, oddsbodkins. Oooh, oddsbodkins.
That I blow my top and lash out; I ain't sittin' on no fence
If you cut me up in traffic, there's a tirade on the way
Lots of "Jumpin' Joe Jehosaphat"s I'll say.
I've a fearsome reputationMister Olden Swear, 'tis I
I'm adept at confrontationone "dangnabit" makes 'em cry
I'm a total cad and blackguard, and by heck I'll say it loud
Well, geewillickers; I'm cranky and I'm proud!
When I'm angry, it's "Oh, fiddle!"
And "goshdarnit", yessiree!
I make nuns and grannies giggle
With my wild profanity
And you won't subdue me
I'm mad; so sue me
My answer's "phooey!"
By my troth, I'm near exploding; Mister Olden Swear, 'tis I
Junior jackanapes I'm goading; I'm a curmudgeonly guy
If I thump a thumb with hammer, it's a pox upon the world
But I'd never be this filthy near a girl!
When I'm angry, it's "Oh, fiddle!"
And "goshdarnit", yessiree!
Been this way since I was little
It's what my pa taught to me
And you cannot stymie
My language grimy
My answer's "blimey"
Oooh, oddsbodkins. Oooh, oddsbodkins. Oooh, oddsbodkins.
Your Vote & Comment Counts
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 22 | 22 | 22 |
User Comments
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Oh Kristof...you had me from "Jumpin' Joe Jehosaphat..." and it only got better and better. THIS IS FABULOUS!!!
Heehee! I really liked this one...the way you worked in all those "sear" words. :D 5's
jiminy christmas, that was spiffy...5s
Leapin' Lizards, Sandy! I'm givin' ya effin fives!
Great Caesar's Ghost, Gorsh, Golly Geez...& Jiminy Frickin' Crickett, too...I'm really rather peeved that I didn't think of this first. 5's ~ ~ ~
Well you earned the 5s on this Kristof, excellent as usual.
Golly darn gee whiz bang it to heck! That was a corker! Loved "Junior jackanapes"
I use a lot of those terms, so maybe we're "Cussins"....Funny profanity here, Kristof...
ROFLMAO! - the whole idea is hilarious, Kristof, and that's before you started with your jehosaphats (and where did you source the spelling btw?) and your oddsbodkins - and yes, that's how we see those old codgers alright - grumpy but harmless - 555
Thanks people! Arwen: aww shucks!......Adagio: Cheers m'dear!.......Alvin: Boy howdy; thanks!......Rick: Effin? a quarter in the swear box, for you, my son ;-)... Paul: I had the title in my head for months; had to bite the bullet and write it.....Red Ant: Thank ye kindly......PMS: Jackanapes is my word of the week!......AFW: "cussins"; LOL!.....Stu: I'm not entirely sure that I DID spell "Jehosaphat" correctly, it looked OK so I stuck with it; thanks!!
Oh fudge and bugger ! This is funnier than my version
Judas Priest... No, not Judas Priest, America!
This was a sincerely original idea, and you did a great job. I won't insert any pretend swears here; by the way real swears cost a dollar nowadays......not like in olden times.
[SOTM] Made me laugh... even though I didn't know the original song
[SOTM] Frickety-frackin' fantastic.
(SOTM) Apparently my previous comment got over-edited here and the one I just typed did as well ( seriously ). Pretty gosh darn funny stuff here Kristof.
SOTM--I am still captivated by your geriatric vulgarity...=)
(SOTM) - You had me chuckling harder than a nun, that's for sure
(SOTM) Gosh! It's a bit scary to notice that you didn't PICK the even better parody "Possessed Canary, Mental Hen" for this round Kristof, how about you bottle some of that talent and sell it to the rest of us?
(Agrimorfee) Well H. E Hockey STicks, that was a dadgum clever parody! 555.
SOTM
(SOTM) Good gravy, wil you stop with the profanity, PLEASE???? You will go straight to the devil will such lauguage, young man...if the devil ever stops laughing. Great job, Kristof
see, this is where im heading. reading your song made me reflect on my future. thanks. nice.
(SOTM) Not a bad thing to play second fiddle to this song. Nicely done!
(SOTM) Still great!
(SOTM) ARRGGHH !! I wish I'd thought of this concept first !! Great job, KR !!
(SOTM) What a smooth talker. 5's
(sotm) it's just so dang dashed funny! - what in tarnation does that KR scalliwag put on his cornflakes?
Jeepers, this is great! What was it Dee Range said a while back - "Ho hum, just another brilliant, hilarious parody from Kristof"? Great concept, many great lines - but my fave is "I'd never be this filthy near a girl." And I gotta tell ya, if you hadn't managed to squeeze this in at the last minute, my SOTM decision would be much less stressful.
Dangnammit! What in tarnation do I make of this one?
SOTM.. Very funny, Kristof. I stiil know people who actually say curses like that. It's pretty dang hilarious to hear it used today. Well done. 555
Heh heh, rated 'G' for 'old-man-bad-language'. Funny, funny stuff Kristof and very well-made. Also, excellent inclusion of so many gramps-isms and still keeping a great flow throughout.
Mass laughter, you darn-tootin' genius. Great concept and rhymed with the skill that we all have... for some obscure reason this reminded me of that old guy sitting on a porch in 'High Noon', his only line in the film being "Movin' mighty fast for a Sund'y!" 555
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