Well I saw it in a bucket, but it didn't look too fresh
And I thought that if I ate it, I'd have cardiac arrest
But my mama always told me, don't say no before you've tried
So I got a scoop and stepped out of the line

Well, it tastes even worse than tofu, tuna cottage cheese surprise
And I think that I'm gonna spew, and it goes straight to my thighs
I'm feelin' sick and despondent and need some extra large fries
'Cause the aftertaste just doesn't seem to die

Don't you even eat just a little, even if it's on a dare
'Cause I'd rather chug down spittle, or eat deep fried greasy hair
I was quite mistaken, so now I'm prayin', I hope I make it

Well, my mouth is reekin' of you, tuna cottage cheese surprise
Yeah, just drug me up on altoids, and listerine strips 'till I cry
Someone call the health inspectors, and get this here restaurant fined
'Cause right now I think that I just wanna die

I ate a big scoop from the middle, now I'm just gaspin' for air
Please just empty out the kettle, it ain't gonna draw no bears
Well I tried to taste it, so now I'm sayin, that I just hate it