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Song Parodies -> "A Whore With No Name"
Original Song Title:
"A Horse With No Name"
(MP3)Original Performer:
America
Parody Song Title:
"A Whore With No Name"
Parody Written by:
Guy DiRito
The Lyrics
For a Youtube look and listen to "A Horse With No Name" by America click HERE
Saw a skirt that made me horny,
I was lookin' for a rent-a-wife.
I want pants not words that rocks off thing,
When I hand her bills she brings.
I just want to get me a buy of some fuzz,
Just a guy, I'm not proud.
Some heat what's hot and some sound firm thigh,
Would she care to fool around?
I just want some dessert off a whore with no name,
It be good to be out with a dame.
Just want dessert, I won't remember her name,
'Cause you get your fun and the whore don't complain.
Ah ah ah ah-ah-ah-ah ah ah ah oh oh ah
Ah ah ah ah-ah-ah-ah ah ah oh oh oo ah
There's a few ways to effect some fun.
Some skin or give at turns head.
There's the three way but it costs a ton,
And you'll need yourself a bigger bed.
"That's Amore" I'm told in Italian gets hos,
Get me had my pencil some lead.
For me I've been due some pleasure with a whore of hot flame,
I'll melt wood in and out for some strange.
I'm so pestered and evil tempered; so lame,
And their ain't no fun 'til some business exchange.
Ah ah ah ah-ah-ah-ah ah ah ah oh oh ah
Ah ah ah ah-ah-ah-ah ah ah oh oh oo ah
I don't mind pay, you get no whores for free,
'Cause their effort is done for fee.
No romance, no words, want rock something,
Want a m'am no frills, no strings.
A notion for some dessert where a wife is not found,
It's so perfect for guys in lust.
I like it gritty, take my joy underground,
Find a woman that don't get fussed.
So she was paid for her efforts well rehearsed was her game,
It felt good to go get bent again.
She was fervent, but don't remember her name,
'Cause there ain't no fun like the time that's just been.
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 2 | 1 | ||||||||
| 5 | 20 | 18 | 19 |
User Comments
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Of course, when your wife reads this you'll be divorced with no dame. :-)
hilarious..especially liked the three way verse
I laughed out loud! Super syllable-matching as always!
mostly unKnightly. . . . Pirate Guy!! careful sir, you may be walking the plank !
I echo Johnny Ds comment.
What Johnny D said.
Such lacivious-ness! :-D
Funny stuff :) What JD AND Stan said ha ha
This could be the Eliot Spitzer's theme song, but it is generic enough to be available for the next scandal and the next scandal... Very clever, Guy.
Hahahaha! LOL! Now thats funny stuff!
That was excellent a the pacing made it extra funny! 5's
(SOTM) Still great and erm... great!
Funny idea, but your grammar left me a bit puzzled. I know I'm the last one who should be talking about grammar, but phrases like, "That rocks off thing", "Get me a buy", and "Give at turns head" were a bit off in my opinion. You have some great ideas Guy, and I don't want you to get pissed off and yell at me again, but you just need to work on grammar just like me.
Matt - I write that way on purpose - some comes from the Pennsylvania Dutch influence who were around the area where I grew up and the rest I picked up from living all over the US and some overseas. They do make sense even though the grammar is off if you read them the way they were meant. My sppeech is vastly different from how I write, like at work and my parody wriging is completely different from who I write at work. Now my spelling - that is a whole different matter. Thanks for your comments. Thank flaming I showed that day was a one time thing. Take ease when you want to comment, Matt. I will hold my pen and not displace anger again. I have learned my lesson. Thanks for the constructive criticism.
I grew up in Penn. Dutch area myself, and I can attest to the odd grammar used by them. Like Yoda they speak, understand them you may not. It's a hybrid of English and German, kind of like Spanglish is a hybrid.
Sir Guy, you are correct about regional grammar preferences! Milwaukee definitely has some real classics: " . . . They futz around". . . was one that my GrandMutter strongly disliked!
Very well done Guy: quite funny. Re: grammar, I have no problem with yours, here. Besides, TOS delivers one of the most grammatically awful lines in songwriting history: "'cause there ain't no one for ta give ya no pain". Massive improvement over the original.
Friends & fellow writers - I forgot to mention that I grew up speaking Pittsburgese and that is almost another dialect altogether from the American mainstream speak. Pittsburghers have words like nebby, yins and phrases like red up the room, to name a few. Nebby means nosey, yins is a form of y'all and red up the room means to clean up the room. Live with me and humor my quaint lyrics please. =;-) I got my Pa. Dutch from a farmer I worked fro from early teens through the end of high school. I'm glad there are yins guys like McKludge out dere dat can attest to the grammatical nuances of the region. Thanks all!
Great
Your pacing is excellent as always, a hard wood 5 there. Not so funny IMHO, but because of how pacing and overall (I'll get to that) comes together it's still a solid 4 in that inbetween area. And overall, well, the tone of the original goes (here we go again) excellent with the new words, so it was a joyfull ride all the way through until the dimes (or should that be dames) ran out. The whole parody goes as straight as the narrator to the short list. :-)
(sotm) I echo Matthias' sentiments...call it 'poetic license'. I don't hold that against the parody, though...I was kind of picturing perhaps one of your Mafioso boys from your other parodies trying to put pen to paper about his hobby. Interesting to say the least.
This is based on experience, hey, Guy?
..only joking ;-)
..only joking ;-)
(SOTM) I'm in kinda two minds about this, Guy...I actually like a bit of screwed up grammar once in a while, but the piece didn't make me laugh like I thought it would. Still, a solid 545 from me.
p.s. I would've gone for "I'm licking (or eating) some dessert off a whore with no name"...better visual! :-)
p.s. I would've gone for "I'm licking (or eating) some dessert off a whore with no name"...better visual! :-)
(SOTM) The grammar didn't even register here - the topic by itself isn't my thing. Nothing much left to say now.
(SOTM) Well--the idea is solid, but some of the word choices baffled me a bit. I don't think the grammar was terrible, but the choice of wording did throw me off a tad. I like the flame, lame, exchange, strange rhyming, that was great, and the overall idea was very good--could just use some polishing, particularly in the first paragraph (that's where some if it threw me off), but it gets better as it goes along.
SOTM- Ah, the fun you can have with whores. Good stuff, Guy.
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