Just put those new records on the shelf
I'll sit and listen to 'em with my friends
Today's music soft rocks the soul
I paid for rice and got a roll

Don't try to make me listen to Disco Duck
You'll never even get me past the first note
In ten minutes I'll be late for work
I like that old time Elvis Costello

Still like that old time polka tunes
I listen to to it in the ancient ruins
This song is really funny
That's why you're laughing your ass off

Won't ever go to Wango Tango
'Cause I don't like Miley Cyrus
There's only one sure way to get me to go
And that's to force me at gunpoint

I am a relic, but not too old
I'm not old-fashioned, I'm not over the hill
Today's music has plenty of soul
I'm singing about rock n' roll

Still like old time rock n' roll
That kind of music just rocks my world
Except once a month
Every Tuesday ain't good for me