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Song Parodies -> "It's a Hard Steak"
Original Song Title:
"It's a Heartache"
Original Performer:
Bonnie Tyler
Parody Song Title:
"It's a Hard Steak"
Parody Written by:
Merry & Pippin
The Lyrics
It's a hard steak
Harder than a disc brake
Overcooked, I'm i-rate
It's so hard, I frown
It's a cruel game
A zero kilojoule shame
Bland and burned it be-came
Cooked it like a clown
It's a hard steak
Timer setting mistake
Cooked for ho-urs - no break
It's such a let down
It ain't bright with blood - it's seared
Take a bite I'm sore affeared - like glue
A faint guise of meat o'erdone
As such can be pretended as food?
Oh, it's a hard steak
Wish instead, I'd hotcakes
Coupled with a clambake
Hot and golden brown
It's no-chew bane
Knifing won't diffuse grain
Tantamount to glass pane
Reeling - overbrowned
It's benighted, rough and sere
Molars grind in vain to tear and chew
I can't slice - I need a gun!
No juices are appending this food
Oh, it's a charred steak
Beefy I can't par-take
Stuff it - I'll have corn flakes
Jett'son this Mad Cow...
It's no drool claim
Branding iron stood reign
Gleely on this chow
It's a hard steak
Toughy to mas-TI-cate
It's the worst in town
It's a cruel shame
Harder than a disc brake
Overcooked, I'm i-rate
It's so hard, I frown
It's a cruel game
A zero kilojoule shame
Bland and burned it be-came
Cooked it like a clown
It's a hard steak
Timer setting mistake
Cooked for ho-urs - no break
It's such a let down
It ain't bright with blood - it's seared
Take a bite I'm sore affeared - like glue
A faint guise of meat o'erdone
As such can be pretended as food?
Oh, it's a hard steak
Wish instead, I'd hotcakes
Coupled with a clambake
Hot and golden brown
It's no-chew bane
Knifing won't diffuse grain
Tantamount to glass pane
Reeling - overbrowned
It's benighted, rough and sere
Molars grind in vain to tear and chew
I can't slice - I need a gun!
No juices are appending this food
Oh, it's a charred steak
Beefy I can't par-take
Stuff it - I'll have corn flakes
Jett'son this Mad Cow...
It's no drool claim
Branding iron stood reign
Gleely on this chow
It's a hard steak
Toughy to mas-TI-cate
It's the worst in town
It's a cruel shame
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| 5 | 12 | 12 | 12 |
User Comments
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Vegan motivation.
you said "masticate" heh heh heh
You had me at "kilojoule" !
hope these three $5's will get you a fresh correctly cooked steak.
I'm very tempted to say 'well done'... ...but I'd better not! Excellent stuff, nonetheless...
It's not rare when Merry & Pippin's entries into this medium are well done. (With apologies to the memory of Fred Allen.)
This parody is USDA prime.
Well cooked parody.
interesting parody; I was thinking about this original song very recently
LOL funny and wordsmithing after my own heart... I'm pretty new here but do believe few other parodies have used not only "kilojoule" but also "sere"... Throwing in a regionalism such as "afeared" is a cute contrast in vocabulary... Gess if it had been venison, you could complain that the cook Sears your Roebuck. 555
Cooked to perfection as always :)
Thank you all :) Johnny, Tommy, glad you picked it up, we like to put a bit of something in for everyone :)
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