Don’t I know you’re going to cheat and move those knights ‘long
Bishops sneakin’ to and fro when I was gone off for a snack
Now two squares I spy with pieces quite wrong
This here board’s sure quite awry and I suspect that it’s been hacked

It's my last pawn: I’d sev’ral seized by you
I’m aghast and I can tell you castled when I wasn’t there
This is the last pawn I have to king pursue
You done rooking for a fight but I seem in check
Bud, I doubt you, you sneaky dude, mess you brew

It’s a kind of crime that’s waiting for me – board bizarre
Bishop’s screwed and I’m struck dumb how it’s changed square, from black to white...
Though my knight’s still here, moves per-pen-dic-u-lar
Though I’ll try for en passant, it’s tough with pieces mis-applied

It's my last pawn, my game has been subdued
It’s the saddest kind of gambit to launch when I wasn’t there
This is the last pawn I have to cling win to
You been mucking up the board and it don’t seem fair
Thought I’d slug you oh, chess I rue mmm mmm

It’s my last pawn - refresh-ed board, did you
It’s my last pawn - a lesser wight; I’m through
It’s my last pawn - its efforts slight; no coup
It’s my last pawn - must stalemate pursue...