Don't think clowns are funny, on them, I'm not keen
Their jokes are dumb, the slapstick just feels mean
But I still stay up at nights, somethin's on my brain
There's one schtick of the clown that I can't explain

Don't get why they use rubber chickens
I can't lie, don't get rubber chickens
Ooh, they're plain confusin' me, what is their use? Search me
Those rubber chickens make no sense to me

Water squirts in the eye, I just don't see
Why that's so crazy, isn't clear-cut comedy
And why the white facepaint? Don't see the humour in it
Sure, it's been done for years, joke's not made explicit

It's just like that damn rubber chicken
I can't find mirth in rubber chickens
Ooh, wave it round foolishly, raise my brow cluelessly
A rubber chicken, yet to work this out successfully
Successfully, yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah-yay

Ooh (ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh), rubber chickens
Ooh (geez), rubber chickens
Ooh, rubber chickens (afraid that I just don't get, 'fraid that I simply don't get)
Ooh, rubber chickens (the deal with rubber chickens, oh-oh-oh)
Ooh, rubber chickens (stupid mothercluckers)
Ooh, rubber chickens (oh-oh-oh, why, why rubber chickens?)
Ooh, rubber chickens (yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah)
Ooh, rubber chickens (don't get rubber chickens, ooh-ooh-ooh)
Ooh (ah-ah, ah-ah), rubber chickens