A Turtle arrived just the other day
He came to this site in the usual way:
By the click of a mouse, then he hit "OK"
Then finds he can't tear himself away
And he was writin' 'fore he knew it
Without a clue
They said, "He's gotta be cuc-koo, man
"We know he's gotta be cuc-koo"
He's got bats in his belfry and a pilfered tune
Wit annoy, too; written by a baboon
"When you gettin' smart, Tom?" "I don't know when"
"Get s**t more together then, son
"It might take forever, then "
He posts songs: ten, on his
n00bie day [1]
He's amazed how in droves, they all stay away
"Can you take me in tow?" They said, "Not today"
'You got a lot to learn." He said, "That's okay"
And he crawled away, with his head full of phlegm
Said, "I'm gonna be like them, yeah"
"I know I'm gonna be like them"
He's got bats in his belfry and a corny
croon Little boy blew OS on a bassoon
"When you gettin' smart, Tom?" "I don't know when"
But nerd nest he'll feather then, Hon
Bird turd nest he'll feather then
Well, he posts a tribute almost ev'ry day
To all AmIRight, he just loves to say,
"I'm in rowdy mood; take my s**t for a while"
He tucks his head in his shell with a smile
"What I wanna write:
sex,
kinky; scoring some
coke keys;
Female hygiene:
"Got a tampon, please?" He's got bats in his belfry; brain of slivered prune
Typin' out tunes to a
too-hairy moon"When you gettin' smart, Tom?" "I don't know when
"We're
Hell-bent for leather, then:
fun [2]
"Our favorite 'region': 'nether,' men!" [3]
He's now alcoholic; liver rotting away
Makes
"Brokenback" parodies, so gay
His health has gone to
"pot";
"blot" out half his mind
He doesn't do real work; he hasn't got the time
So, from his job, he got fired; and got STDs, too
But it's sure fun here in this zoo, yeah,
It's pure pun: poo in the
loo [4]
And as they put down their mice, it occurred to them:
The Turtle's just like them, yeah,
The Turtle's just like them
He's got bats in his belfry and a dildoed poon
Little joy: porn; 'stead of sex, silly swoon
"When you gettin' smart, Tom?" "I don't know when"
Eyes
"lock: leer" at Heather, then: bun [5]
His pea-cock: leer at Heather, then!
[1] 30 January 2006, a day that will live in infamy
[2] A phrase from the OS to which it is linked
[3] "nether" = lower; "nether regions" = cheap porn slang for the lower private body parts, usually of the female.
[4] "poo"/"loo": refers to 10,000+ gaseous or "poop-ous" parodies on this site.
[5] Every time I saw Heather Locklear on "Melrose Place," my Mel rose.