Stopped singing on stage, and I’d missed it.
Made it nearly seventeen days,
Sittin’ all day in my chair, losing all of my hair,
Watchin’ lots of tv and eatin chocolate eclairs.

But at night I’d dream of those wonderful times
A true narcissistic treat
Not shaving, or behaving, or wondering what’s to eat,
Just me, a guitar, and my fans on their feet.

I’m a rock singer in a pair of tights
Singin’ on key almost every night.
I won’t hit the hay till the mornin’ light.
I'm just a rock singer in a pair of tights.

Verse 2
You hear about those mythical bands of men,
They sing the same thing again and again;
They’re aged sixty-six and singin’ tired hits.
Well they’re singing 90 minutes when they should be slingin’ grits.

But tunes have changed for artists these days.
They’re cookie cutter to be polite;
Not just crappy or just nappy, no Joie de vivre
They’re simply very awful and not what you need.

You need a rock singer in a pair of tights,
I’m paid here to sing and not to be nice
If you want to be cool, just take my advice
And be a rock singer in a pair of tights.

I like fans who stand and pump their fists
Who know all my songs and not just the hits
Stompin’ both their feet just an amazing sound
Get on the road tomorrow and then another town.

I’m just a rock singer in a pair of tights
Enjoyin’ my time on the stage and in lights.
Keep me away, and you’ll violate my rights
To be a rock singer in a pair of tights;
Just be a rock singer in a pair of tights.
I'm just a rock singer in a pair of tights.

I like fans who stand and pump their fists
Who know all my songs and not just the hits
Stompin’ both their feet just an amazing sound
Get on the road tomorrow and then another town.