Nibblin on cheesecake
Way past its sell date
Though it smelled off, I didn't recoil
Clenching my o-ring
Guessin it will sting
Run to loo, stomach startin' to roil

Wastin the day away in diarrhea-ville
Squirting forth my hot liquid assault
Wasn't my aim to get my ass hole aflame
Or have my guts do somersaults

I'm horny's the reason
It's girl-watching season
Thinkin I'm well, head to bar for a brew
I talk up a beauty
But then have to doodie
Head for men's room, I bid her adieu

Blastin away again in diarrhea-ville
Spurting from my poor aching ass vault
For a fun game, this jet of shit I could aim
And spell out:
"Who the hell is John Galt?"

Listenin' to turds plop
Hummin' some hip-hop
Feet: can't feel, they've long since gone all numb
While my anus, quite tender
Persists to engender
That liquid concoction that squirts from my bum

It's bombs away today in diarrhea-ville
Perching for so long here on the pot
Farts sound like vowels as they propel from my bowels
I know I... ate what I ought not
Yes, it wasn't my aim to ass-shoot hot liquid flames
But I know, it's my own damn fault