Two foot seven, pesky piddler,
Sous* bridge found him sendin' flow in river.
"Hi, l'il, troll." Hear: "Troll, sir, don't call me--
"Punch you in the snout 'n' blowin' nose will bleed!"

Comfy home, shared with gnome,
Goofy face, kinda long.
Pesky diddler, mounts my llama;
Shared with gnome, comfy home.

Called, "Be guest, please, in my house, sir."
Liked my place; he brayed, "Have you loose daughter,
Tart and busty?" "Ain't got one, said I."
Nips he on my moonshine. Beer slops down, and wine.

Comfy home, shared with gnome,
Loots my place; rhiny pong.
Pesky pilf'rer, counts my manna.
Beware gnomes' comin' home.

I fear his roister; his hornin' in appalls me;
He rapes the goats, he binds me with my rope every day.
I'll dry him out then load him up when feeling's
In my hands when unroped, then he'll pay,
A la Bates!**

Comes he home; snare the gnome,
Shoot and waste with the long
Winchester. Cure, mount this monster--
Hair-stuffed gnome, comfy home.

Comfy home, hair-stuffed gnome;
Sur*** fireplace he belongs.
Emptied, filled 'im; mounted monster--
Hair-stuffed gnome, comfy home.

Comfy home, don't share with gnome!
Share with gnome, don't! comfy home.


*Under
**Norman Bates, amateur taxidermist
***Over