Well, I never used to floss much, brush my teeth,
Or see a dentist twice a year
Wound up with that periodontal in my mouth,
And big wide spaces there and here
Just ate candy bars for breakfast, Baby Ruths,
Some Almond Joys, and Musketeer
And I guess I had real nasty breath,
'Cause folks backed up, when "Howdy" I would say

I poured that old Jack Daniel's straight,
Smoked cigarettes, the bad stains kept on stickin'
And of course, when I got loaded,
It wasn't always clean stuff I was lickin'
Colonel Sanders was a pal,
I liked to taste and smell his extra crispy chicken
Never thought these faithful choppers,
I would lose somehow, somewhere along the way..

Now, I'm thirty eight and toothless,
Nothin' left, but gum and bone
Smilin' pink and lookin' stupid
Even slobber on the phone
And there's nothin' any sadder
Than this loud lip smackin' sound
Suckin' mush and soakin' donuts
Sunday Mornin' Gummin' Down

Folks made fun and ridiculed me
I'd become the butt of jokes and daily teasin'
So, when I finally pulled a trigger, well, I guess,
Somehow, I thought I had a reason
Now's the day of execution, and lime jello
For a last meal ain't too pleasin'..
I can hear the pellets fallin', so it won't be long
Till I won't have to say...

That I'm thirty eight and toothless,
Nothin' left but gum and bone
Smilin' pink and lookin' stupid
Sometimes slobber on the phone
There ain't nothin' any sadder
Than this loud lip smackin' sound
Suckin' mush and soakin' donuts
Sunday Mornin' Gummin' Down..

Sunday Mornin' Gummin' Down...