Make houses quiver when I am rolling,
Playing quite late at night.
Make myself dizzy when I get cymbally--
That sound so high and bright.
So I ain't got no friends
With my neighbors 'cause I bought a new drum set;
They call me "parasite."

They wish I'd put layers of cork on my windows;
They'd like to kill me in the evening time.
"Bought a new drum set! Die!!"

Terry might sue me for the vibrations
That shake her mate at night.
She thinks I am crazy, thinks my mind wanders
Because I can't keep time.
And she cannot get laid--
Her wife gets a headache from my new drumset;
They are a pair o' dykes.

They wish I'd soundproof my walls, roof, doors, and windows
They'd like to kill me in the evening time.
"Bought a new drum set! Die!!"

They say my playing warrants swarms of flies,
Like loo matter on the ground.
Then Terry does sue me; gets herself a shyster
Who hires a PI* hound,
Who then becomes my friend
'Cause I let him play on my hot new drum set--
He is in paradise.

Now we're two drum-set guys.


*private investigator