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Song Parodies -> "Arizona"

Original Song Title:

"Arizona"

Original Performer:

Mark Lindsay

Parody Song Title:

"Arizona"

Parody Written by:

Airfarcewon

The Lyrics

How presidential's Rick Santorum?
Looks like he'd sell used cars
He was a voter for that Bridge to Nowhere,
Prob'lly saves penny jars..
He truly believes, that Obama is dangerous
Much more so than any Prez
This, in a way seems laughable
When you hear the other things that he says..

Arizona,
Who gave the best debate?
Arizona,
Listen to their plans for the world, my, my,
Arizona,
Who wins your southwest state?
Arizona,
Who makes your right wing day?
Four cowboys ride, and act like Klem Kadiddlehopper,
Red Skelton's act
So perfect, each paints - As if they have the answers, like Saints..
Arizona,
Can you believe their views?
Arizona,
Where does the right wing sway?

(Instrumental interlude)

Next to come up is starched Mitt Romney
Talks in robotic way
He weaves the words to make insomni-
acs go to sleep in hay
He looks like he could play Robin Hood, a man of wood, Like Pinnochio, what'cha say?
He might just be leading you, like Aesop's fable
Getting you to vote his way-ay-ay

Arizona,
Who gave the best debate?
Arizona,
Listen to those plans for the world, my, my,
Arizona,
Who wins your southwest state?
Arizona,
Where does the right wing sway?
Four cowboys ride, and act like Klem Kadiddlehopper,
Red Skelton's act
So perfect, each paints - as if they have the answers, like Saints..
Arizona,
Can you believe these views?
Arizona,
Where gets your right wing sway?
They sure have big plans for the world, my, my,
Arizona,
Did they all pay their dues?
Arizona,
Who wins the right wing fray?
Come on, hey, Arizona,
Who wins this big debate?

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

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You'd Got To Stand 4 Something - February 23, 2012 - Report this comment
Fantastic! Also remember that incompetant bigoted cruel governness who wants to establish a form of apartheid in Arizona by requiring what she thinks are foreigners to carry passbook papers all the time - just like South African blacks (who weren't considered to be citizens to start with) had to do during the fascist apartheid era there. Also, Sarah and Bristol Palin are supposedly in Arizona to jack up the moronic extremist factor there and LBNL, look at the stupid cretin who wounded Rep. Giffords and killed others. I ain't going to Arizona and feed that junta of jackasses with my tourist dollars until they stop their crap and stop it for good.
18 illegal immigration facts pt. 1 - February 24, 2012 - Report this comment
#1 Illegal immigrants take jobs away from American citizens. According to a review of U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics and Census Bureau data, legal and illegal immigrants gained over a million additional jobs between 2008 and 2010 even as millions of American citizens were losing their jobs during that same time period.

#2 The majority of our immigrants now sneak in through the “back door” that the federal government purposely leaves open. Thanks to the negligence of the federal government, far more people move into the United States illegally than come in through the legal immigration process. This has got to change.

#3 Illegal immigrants generally don’t pay taxes. The vast majority of illegal aliens would never even dream of paying income taxes, but Mexicans living in America send billions upon billions of dollars out of the United States and back to Mexico every single year.

#4 Although illegal aliens pay next to nothing in taxes, they have no problem receiving tens of billions of dollars worth of free education benefits, free health care benefits, free housing assistance and free food stamp benefits. Many communities in the United States now openly advertise that they will help illegal aliens with these things.

#5 The cost of educating the children of illegal immigrants is staggering. It is estimated that U.S. taxpayers spend $12,000,000,000 a year on primary and secondary school education for the children of illegal immigrants.

#6 Thanks to illegal immigration, California’s overstretched health care system is on the verge of collapse. Dozens of California hospitals and emergency rooms have shut down over the last decade because they could not afford to stay open after being endlessly swamped by illegal immigrants who were simply not able to pay for the services that they were receiving. As a result, the remainder of the health care system in the state of California is now beyond overloaded. This had led to brutally long waits, diverted ambulances and even unnecessary patient deaths. Sadly, the state of California now ranks dead last out of all 50 states in the number of emergency rooms per million people.
18 illegal immigration facts pt. 2 - February 24, 2012 - Report this comment
#7 It was estimated that there were approximately 7.7 million illegal aliens employed by U.S. employers during 2008. How much better would our economy look if all of those jobs were being filled by American workers?

#8 The region along the U.S./Mexico border is now an open war zone. Just across the U.S. border, the city of Juarez, Mexico is considered to be one of the most dangerous cities on the entire planet because of the brutal drug war being waged there. In fact, Juarez has now become the murder capital of the western hemisphere. Much of that violence has begun to spill over into areas of the southwestern United States. For example, a while back NPR described one incident in the Juarez Valley that involved American citizens…. A couple of weeks ago, gunmen in the Juarez Valley killed the Mexican relative of a Fort Hancock high school student. When the student’s family in Fort Hancock heard about it, they crossed the border at 10 a.m. to see the body, and took the student with them. “By 10:30, they had stabbed the relatives that went with him, which included his grandparents, with an ice pick,” says school superintendent Jose Franco. “My understanding is that the gentleman is like 90 years old, and they poked his eyes out with an ice pick. I believe those people are still in intensive care here in a hospital in the U.S.”

#9 A substantial percentage of young illegal immigrants end up in gangs. U.S. authorities say that there are now over 1 million members of criminal gangs operating inside the United States. According to federal statistics, these 1 million gang members are responsible for up to 80% of the violent crimes committed in the U.S. each year. Latino gangs made up primarily of illegal aliens are responsible for much of this violence. According to the Center for Immigration Studies, some of the most notorious gangs in the country are made up almost entirely of illegal immigrants…. “Gang investigators in Virginia estimate that 90% of the members of MS-13, the most notorious immigrant gang, are illegal immigrants.”

#10 The “18th Street Gang” is certainly giving MS-13 a run for their money. It is believed that the 18th Street Gang has thousands of members in the city of Los Angeles alone. In fact, the gang has become so notorious that there are even rumors that some police officers in Los Angeles simply will not venture into the areas most heavily controlled by the 18th Street gang. The following is what Wikipedia says about the 18th Street Gang…. A US Justice Department report from 2009 estimates that the 18th Street gang has a membership of some 30,000 to 50,000 with 80% of them being illegal aliens from Mexico and Central America and is active in 44 cities in 20 states. Its main source of income is street-level distribution of cocaine and marijuana and, to a lesser extent, heroin and methamphetamine. Gang members also commit assault, auto theft, carjacking, drive-by shootings, extortion, homicide, identification fraud, and robbery.

#11 The “drug war” in northern Mexico is one gigantic bloodbath. The Mexican government says that as many as 28,000 people have been slaughtered by the drug cartels since 2007. A very significant percentage of those deaths have happened in areas right along the U.S. border, and yet our federal government still sees no reason to get serious about border security.

#12 It is an open secret that Mexican drug cartels are openly conducting military operations inside the United States. The handful of border patrol agents that we have guarding the border are massively outgunned and outmanned. One agent who patrols the border and who asked to remain anonymous told Fox News the following…. “To say that this area is out of control is an understatement.” A different federal agent put it this way in an email to Fox News…. “Every night we’re getting beaten like a pinata at a birthday party by drug, alien smugglers
18 illegal immigration facts pt. 3 - February 24, 2012 - Report this comment
#13 Federal border officials say that Mexican drug cartels have not only set up shop on U.S. soil, but they are actually maintaining lookout bases in strategic locations in the hills of southern Arizona. If you go to Arizona today, there are actually signs that have been put up by the federal government warning American citizens not to venture into certain wilderness routes that are used by Mexican drug cartels to bring in drugs.

#14 The drug war being waged on both sides of the border is so violent that it is almost unimaginable. For example, one very prominent Mexican assassin known as “the soupmaker” has confessed that he made approximately 300 bodies disappear by dissolving them in acid baths. But right now there is essentially nothing that is preventing the next “soupmaker” from crossing the U.S. border and moving into your neighborhood.

#15 Arizona police are being openly warned by the Mexican drug cartels that if they try to interfere with the drug traffic in their area that they will be “taken out” by drug cartel snipers.

#16 While the U.S. military endlessly hunts for “members of al-Qaeda” in the caves of Afghanistan and on the streets of Iraqi cities, a very real threat has been building just south of the border. Over the past 15 to 20 years, Hezbollah has set up operations all over Mexico, Central America and South America. Hezbollah is reportedly making a lot of money in the drug trade and in trafficking illegal aliens. Sadly, our government is largely ignoring this.

#17 Each year, it costs the states billions of dollars to incarcerate illegal immigrant criminals that should have never been allowed into the country in the first place. It is estimated that illegal aliens make up approximately 30 percent of the population in federal, state and local prisons and that the total cost of incarcerating them is more than $1.6 billion annually.
#18 - February 24, 2012 - Report this comment
#18 The drug cartels and the gangs always seem to be a couple steps ahead of our agents along the border. Approximately 75 tunnels along the U.S. border with Mexico have been discovered by law enforcement authorities in the last four years alone. How much do you think all of this crime, gang violence and drug cartel activity is costing our economy? Why won’t the federal government do what the Constitution requires and secure the border? Oh, but Barack Obama says that he has a plan. He says that he is going to save the day. The following is how Barack Obama describes his plan… “We are not going to ship back 12 million people, we’re not going to do it as a practical matter. We would have to take all our law enforcement that we have available and we would have to use it and put people on buses, and rip families apart, and that’s not who we are, that’s not what America is about. So what I’ve proposed… is you say we’re going to bring these folks out of the shadows. We’re going to make them pay a fine, they are going to have to learn English, they are going to have to go to the back of the line…but they will have a pathway to citizenship over the course of 10 years.” So how many illegal immigrants do you think are going to step forward to pay a fine? One percent? How many of them do you think are going to show up for English classes? Who is going to make them do it? Obama? Are we going to have law enforcement officials running around trying to collect fines from illegal immigrants and trying to get them to attend their English lessons? According to Obama, the millions upon millions of illegal immigrants that are in this country are going to be glad to willingly do the following…. 1) Admit they broke the law 2) Pay back taxes and a fine 3) Learn English 4) Be willing to undergo background checks before starting the legalization process Those four points are taken directly from Obama’s plan. So what are illegal immigrants going to do when this plan is passed? 99 percent of them are going to laugh and they are just going to keep on doing what they have been doing. Large numbers of illegal immigrants are already enjoying the “high life” in the dozens of “sanctuary cities” across the United States. The following is how the Ohio Jobs & Justice PAC defines sanctuary cities…. Generally, sanctuary policies instruct city employees not to notify the federal government of the presence of illegal aliens living in their communities. The policies also end the distinction between legal resident aliens and illegal aliens–so illegal aliens often benefit from taxpayer funded government services and programs too. Sounds like a good deal to me. Can I sign up for that plan? After all, who wouldn’t want to earn all income tax-free and yet enjoy unlimited government services? Today we are being told that we need to make life as comfortable as possible for the waves of illegal immigrants that are coming in. In fact, Barack Obama says that all of us need to make sure that our kids are learning how to speak Spanish…. “I don’t understand when people are going around worrying about, we need to have English only. They want to pass a law, we just, we want English only…Now, I agree that immigrants should learn English, I agree with this. But understand this, instead of worrying about whether immigrants can learn English, they’ll learn English, you need to make sure your child can speak Spanish.” All of this is utter insanity. The cold, hard reality of the matter is that we have tightly secured the border between South Korea and North Korea for over 50 years and we could secure our own borders if we really wanted to. But instead, we continue to leave our border with Mexico completely wide open. Thousands of criminals, gang members and drug pushers continue to come in completely unchecked every single day. Meanwhile, the rest of us have to subject ourselves to some of the most humiliating “security measures” imaginable before we are even allowed to get on to an airplane.

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