I saw this deadly good new show while watching the TV
About some folks who bite the dust most unusually
A copperhead might bite you when you climb a tree
There are 1000 ways to kick the bucket

There was a man who could not get a girl in bed
So then he plugged a cow's heart into a wall socket instead
Tried to have electric sex, but got a shock, and now he's dead
There are 1000 ways to kick the bucket

Say hi to a shark, Mark
Fall off a train, Jane
Play chubby bunny, honey
You'll meet your doom
Eat pufferfish, Trish
That will be your last wish
Go and shoot some horse, of course
It'll happen soon

Say hi to a shark, Mark
Fall off a train, Jane
Play chubby bunny, honey
You'll meet your doom
Get an eel in your pants, Lance
What a grisly circumstance
Go and shoot some horse, of course
You'll meet your doom

A couple who would kill and rob so they could buy cocaine
Hid out in an abandoned building, frying up their brains
Thanks to the demolition crew, rubble covers their remains
There are 1000 ways to kick the bucket

A man whose wife had left him 'cause he hoarded tons of porn
Had boxes of the dirty mags fall on top of him one morn
Literally crushed by what once made him grow a horn
There are 1000 ways to kick the bucket

Say hi to a shark, Mark
Fall off a train, Jane
Play chubby bunny, honey
You'll meet your doom
Roll naked in the snow, Joe
What a crazy way to go
Go and shoot some horse, of course
It'll happen soon

Say hi to a shark, Mark
Fall off a train, Jane
Play chubby bunny, honey
You'll meet your doom
Choke yourself in bed, Ted
What a way to end up dead
Go inject some horse, of course
You'll meet your doom