A man walks up to me
Carrying a ton of my LP's now
Sticks in my face a sharpie
Asking if I could sign them all
I need a photo of authenticity
To say you signed them and not me
Never heard any of your songs
But I am really your biggest fan
Goldigger, Goldigger
Every day and every night
Making money off me for sure
Mr. Smooth Talker, Star Stalker
Get these things away from me
You know I don't sign this stuff any more

If you want my autograph
Sorry but It's not free pal
Instead go to my website
Or my Ebay page
You can use PayPal

A Starr struck man comes up to me
Asking Don't Pass Me By
Wondering if I can Help him out
For a fellow Hard Days Night mate
A musician's small request
I almost couldn't resist
But he was from that foreign band
That took away my sound
With Liverpool Sound
Rattle with that Rock n Roll
He taught me what I'd need to know
When the fans always come round, round
No more handouts and signatures
I'm sorry that's how it goes
Back off Boogaloo, Good Night Ringo

If you want my autograph
Sorry but It's not free pal
Instead go to my website
Or my Ebay page
You can use PayPal
Can use PayPal

Another man walks up to me
A tall one with curly gray hair
With a Bridge Over Troubled Waters stare
And a certain Sound of Silence
How's the wife and family
Then he asks me
Before the day ends
Can we still be Bookends for some
Songs, songs
He really misses he's had no hits
Wonder if I'd sign up for one more stint
I say so long, so long
That relationship is so void and null
Can't sign Simon, even for you Garfunkel

If you want my autograph
Sorry but It's not free pal
Instead go to my website
Or my Ebay page
You can use PayPal
Can use PayPal