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Song Parodies -> "Fifty Names to Give Her Udders"
Original Song Title:
"Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover"
Original Performer:
Paul Simon
Parody Song Title:
"Fifty Names to Give Her Udders"
Parody Written by:
Robert J. Pagliaro
The Lyrics
The problem to call her pups in bed just nips at me
Some answers sound sleazy if you read Porn-og-ra-phy
I'd like to name them but I struggle 'cuz you see
There must be fifty names to give her Udders
This said it's really not my habit to be lewd
Furthermore, I hope my weening don't cost me or kill the mood
So I'll repeat myself 'bout these breasts I'm seeing nude
There must be fifty names to give her Udders
Fifty names to give her Udders
Some call 'em a rack, Jacq
Mammary gland, Fran
You don't need a big chest, Jess
Just set your shelf free
Show Janet's bust, Just
She don't need to have too much
Just drop down the tee, Leigh
And set your shelf free
Some call 'em a rack, Jacq
Mammary gland, Fran
You don't need a big chest, Jess
Just set your shelf free
Show Janet's bust, Just
She don't need to have too much
Just drop down the tee, Leigh
And set your shelf free
I said, "it grieves so to give your girls a name
I wish there was something I could do to take away my shame"
She said, "I appreciate that but would you please explain
About the fifty ways"
I said, "why don't we both just sleep on it tonight
'Cuz I believe in the morning I can surely end this plight"
And then she flashed me 'cuz she realized I probably was right
There must be fifty names to give her Udders
Fifty names to give her Udders
Some call 'em a rack, Jacq
Mammary gland, Fran
You don't need a big chest, Jess
Just set your shelf free
Show Janet's bust, Just
She don't need to have too much
Just drop down the tee, Leigh
And set your shelf free
Some call 'em a rack, Jacq
Mammary gland, Fran
You don't need a big chest, Jess
Just set your shelf free
Show Janet's bust, Just
She don't need to have too much
Just drop down the tee, Leigh
And set your shelf free
Some answers sound sleazy if you read Porn-og-ra-phy
I'd like to name them but I struggle 'cuz you see
There must be fifty names to give her Udders
This said it's really not my habit to be lewd
Furthermore, I hope my weening don't cost me or kill the mood
So I'll repeat myself 'bout these breasts I'm seeing nude
There must be fifty names to give her Udders
Fifty names to give her Udders
Some call 'em a rack, Jacq
Mammary gland, Fran
You don't need a big chest, Jess
Just set your shelf free
Show Janet's bust, Just
She don't need to have too much
Just drop down the tee, Leigh
And set your shelf free
Some call 'em a rack, Jacq
Mammary gland, Fran
You don't need a big chest, Jess
Just set your shelf free
Show Janet's bust, Just
She don't need to have too much
Just drop down the tee, Leigh
And set your shelf free
I said, "it grieves so to give your girls a name
I wish there was something I could do to take away my shame"
She said, "I appreciate that but would you please explain
About the fifty ways"
I said, "why don't we both just sleep on it tonight
'Cuz I believe in the morning I can surely end this plight"
And then she flashed me 'cuz she realized I probably was right
There must be fifty names to give her Udders
Fifty names to give her Udders
Some call 'em a rack, Jacq
Mammary gland, Fran
You don't need a big chest, Jess
Just set your shelf free
Show Janet's bust, Just
She don't need to have too much
Just drop down the tee, Leigh
And set your shelf free
Some call 'em a rack, Jacq
Mammary gland, Fran
You don't need a big chest, Jess
Just set your shelf free
Show Janet's bust, Just
She don't need to have too much
Just drop down the tee, Leigh
And set your shelf free
"Weening" is spelled correctly - while archaic, it means thinking or supposing.
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 12 | 12 | 12 |
User Comments
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This is the breast parody I've read today.
I´m not nearly counting 50 here, but "Just set your shelf free" is a LOL line. And we should have an A-E scale for this type of parodies. ;-)
Udderly hilarious. Had me tittering.
"Weening" was a good play on words! ;-D
You are such a boob. Hope you get BUSTed by the 1's ghoul. Best parody i've read today, bra none. Glad you got it off your chest.
love the concept....i thought you could have done a little more with it had to give ya 4s
Thanks to all - wasn't sure how this would work. Meriadoc, glad you liked the line and sorry I provided an explanation - I should thank the Thesaurus for that word (line). Alvin, I agree, don't know exactly what you were referring to but, personally, I didn't like the repeat lines . . . but sometimes you just got to play the hand you're dealt. Later, bob
I love it. Highly amusing - good job! I especially like 'Just set your shelf free' :D
This was a real hooter. And a fantastic title. After reading this, I feel like a deer (Don't say it, Mike!) caught in the headlights. (He said it!)
(123) This one is going to rack up three fives from me, no matter whatcha call 'em.
Guy - how the hell are ya buddy? Good to hear from you - thanks for the nice comment. Liked your "Varmints" work - original, clever, well-written. Gotta tell you though, I miss the "political Guy" - you're one of few only right-wingers who has a shot in hell at being funny. Have to read your Sports entry - I've been to the Billy Goat by the way. Hope all is well. Later, bob
(123) Good work. 5's
Funny. 5s from a guy who has an "udder" parody or two of his own.
(123) Although I would have liked to see more variation in the chorus (a nice pair o' tits, Fritz)...this was still a bawdy classic.555
(123) Totally boobular.
(123) B-B-B-Bobby and the Breasts-ssssssss!
(123) I like this parody, it has a bouncy tune and I can jiggle to it.
Very well done. The "your shelf" line and the "Janet's bust" line were especially clever.
:-)8-{=
(123) hilarious, and very imaginative idea, Robert!
asa mere Brit Iam quite astonished at the amazing impact/resonance the Janet episode seems to have had.... grat parody which has elicited the usual crop of amusing wordplays that are an inevitable feature in parodies on this particular subject .. Johnny loved yours!!!
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