The problem is now that he is dead, they said to me,
a cannibal kills until he sits there all lonely
I'd like to always have my Kate and Edith too,
there must be fifty ways to have your brother
fifty ways to heave your brother

I said it's really not my habit to be rude,
in Tennessee we love our family lightly barbequed
we masticate and bite and go until they're chewed,
there must be fifty ways to heave your brother

over the side clyde, into a pail, Cale,
into a ditch, Rich, just listen to me,
all covered in pus, gus, you don't need to get reflux,
barf onto a tree, lee, and set yourself free

I sat there quietly, I had my leg to chew,
my uncle festus said just eat him slowly too
he said "just have a ball" ( I'll pass, unc, they're for you)
there must be fifty ways to heave your brother

i'm sitting here all safe from sickos and the like,
my mom ate my sis, does that make her a dyke?
a cannibal with indigestion isn't nice,
there must be fifty ways to heave yout brother
fifty ways to heave your brother

just ralf on the cat, pat, drool on your legs, peg
just bring it all up Chuck ....(up-chuck? get it???)
and listen to me
just yak in the can, stan, you don't need to be sick man..
just puke out a knee, Lee,
and set yourself free