-> "Bo Peepian Ram ‘Knows’ Sheep"
Original Song Title:
"Bohemian Rhapsody"
(MP3)
Parody Song Title:
"Bo Peepian Ram ‘Knows’ Sheep"
The Lyrics
FARMER:
This ain’t a veal life; it’s tupping rammery—
bocks on a dam ride…a landscape of sheep slatterns; free
shoats on the side, nooks where no eyes can see.
After ovine joy, they're feeling slippery,
because it’s sheepy come, sheepy “O,”
Mary's nigh; Merino
is the lamb that followed her to school; it was a rules breach.
Rules breach.
“Baa, yeah!” grunt thrills a ram;
pumps his gun to ruby red, pulls the trigger and she's bred.
Bock, bock, the goat makes a run,
but prowed, the proud ram chases him away.
FLOCK:
“Baa, baa!” Ewe-ew-ew-ew.
FARMER:
Picked for a mate is this “guy.”
They're makin’ time out in the fields, both harrowed;
Capricorn carries on; he is rutting in the narrow.
To mate, ovine must come,
gets shivers down her spine; body quaking from ram pine .
Wood plied, heavy body, the pumping grows—
gutter cleaved, then get in line, each sated ewe.
FLOCK:
“Baa, baa!” Ewe-ew-ew-ew .
FARMER:
Any whey, the milked goat?
Shy shoats will get fried
as a dish, and sheep’ll get shorn, spring/fall.
She sees a little twiglet then grow to a stand—
snares the moose, pairs with moose dam that’s filled with ram mangrove.
HERD:.
Plump girl’s a tight fit
MARY:
Mary, very, likes it—deep!
FARMER:
Gals will bray, “Boar!” Gals will quake, “More!
Agnus Deo!” Gals will bray, “Ohhh! Let’s make hay, Ohhhh!”
BO PEEP, MARY:
Ram, Bliss me!
RAM
No!
STY:
Putz, try shtuppin’ pork.
RAM:
Oy[nk]?!
FARMER:
Those hoggies love sheep.
STY:
You'll love that pork, boy[nk]; jump on pork, phallusy.
RAM:
Sans-apple snout; it’s a pome-paucity.
Sheep be fun; sheep me know.
Will you let me go?
HERD, STY, MARY, BO PEEP:
Ram thriller, no, we will not let you go!
FLOCK:
Let him go!
HERD. . . :
Ram driller, no, we will not let him go!
RAM:
Let me go!
HERD.
Ram filler, no, we will not let you go!
RAM:
Let me go!
HERD
Will not let you go!
RAM-CARNERO:
Let me go!
Go, go, go, go, ¡va! ¡va! ¡va!
¿Vaca? ¡Bah! ¡Bah! ¿Brahma? ¡Nada! Bacchanalia-—baa, baa brama*
Lets me know:
Beasts bellow, bub, when your tendril is wide and woody.
The bleat, so sweet!
I’d rather bone sheep than any other phylum,
rather go sheep-deep than, e.g., a pup dry hump.
Oh, save me; ram-ewe’s what drives me crazy.
Just gotta get in, just gotta get in ere they’re sheared!
FARMER:
Mutton'd really rather,
rather than Bo Peep,
mutton'd really rather, mutton’d really rather do sheep.
RAM:
Hey, they’re kindred, you know!
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Voting Results
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Pacing: | 5.0 | |
How Funny: | 5.0 | |
Overall Rating: | 5.0 | |
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Total Votes: | 14 |
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Voting Breakdown
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