(Shatner, Shatner)

Nerds and dorks and Trekkies meet,
I show up to give them a treat,
And look at me—I'm in tatters!
I am Shatner

(Shatner)

Fans are so inviting,
Though their dedication's frightening
Ask if the Enterprise is real or fake,
ComiCon,
People dressed in bizarre masks,
Talking in Klingon,
Some kind of language

(Shatner)

Even with all my success,
It's only Trek and Trek and Trek and
Look at me, I'm in tatters!
I am Shatner

(Shatner)

All this chitter-chatter, chitter-chatter, chitter-chatter 'bout
Star Trek, Star Trek, Star Trek—
I can't get away from Captain James T. Kirk,
To fans, that's all that matters, uh-huh
(My-toupee, Shatner...)

Pen and paper, I just laugh
Do you want my autograph, 'tograph, 'tograph, 'tograph?!
Does it matter? (Shatner)
I'm Shatner.
Does it matter?

Ahhh, look at me,
I am Shatner
I am Shatner
Look at me—I am Shatner,
Look at that

Mr. Spock and Captain Kirk,
That's what made our great show work,
Spock and Kirk and Tribbles, too,
Are reasons why I'm God to you
And look at me! I'm in tatters,
I've been battered, what does it matter?
Does it matter, uh-huh,
Does it matter, uh-huh,
I am Shatner
Hm, Shatner

(My-toupee, Shatner...)

Don't you know there's something on the wing, wing, wing, wing, wing!
Buy my CD and hear me sing sing, sing, sing, sing, sing, sing!
You've got to go to Priceline,
Priceline-dot-com
What a mess,
This ship's in tatters
And I'm Shatner
My crew's been scattered,
Scattered all over Hollywood

Uh-huh, this place's full of auto grabbers
Go ahead, give me that Sharpie,
Fork over twenty, uh-huh
My toupee,
My career's battered
My fans, they come around, they
Flatter, flatter, flatter, flatter, flatter, flatter, flatter
Pile it up, pile it up,
Pile it high on the platter