You are going too far when you stare.
Just be cool; act like you don't care.
Remember, be someone with great hair.
Otherwise you don't have a prayer.

I’d like to take off her cambric shirt.
(First you should get to know her just a little bit)
Passion rages, can’t waste no time.
(Try saying, “Will you join me for a drink?”)
Without no foreplay that’s too much work
(Oh, no it’s not; just ask about herself)
She’ll say I’ve committed a crime
(You’re unaware of the lesbian rules)

She had invited me to some event.
(Go out with someone who is uglier than you)
Are we dating? Don’t waste my time.
(That way you know they’ll always be true)
But then she ignored me. What had that meant?
(How should I know? Perhaps she just had cramps.)
Won’t she be a true love of mine?

Tell her to weep now I’m a sickie in leather
(And yet you wonder why you’re on probation)
Passion rages, can’t waste no time.
(Jen wails that rage really is not a thrill.)
I’ll gather her hands; tie them both together
(Not too tight or you’ll cause a loss of circulation.)
Then she'll be a true love of mine