We think Malcolm would be good in bed
From parodies that he's exhibited
Imagination seems unlimited
We think Malcolm would be good in bed

We think Malcolm would be good in bed
Yeah, we judge from what we've read
Bet he's kinky and uninhibited
We think Malcolm would be good in bed

Well I bet he really does
All that stuff he describes
At Whatfreaks parodies ya know
If Malcolm were here
Could he keep up the pace?
Invite him to give us both a go

We think Malcolm would be good in bed
Bet he's quirky and high-spirited
With him nothing'd be prohibited
We think Malcolm would be good in bed

We'd have some fun
With Mal on the floor
Tie him up tight with some rope
Fifteen times a week
And he'd beg for more
Then we'd all smoke dope

We think Malcolm would be good in bed
We think he would be quite talented
We sure hope his writing's not mislead
We think Malcolm would be good in bed

Imagine yourself
As Madonna's boyfriend
She'd probably pay you by the hour
I betcha she would be
Your slave for the weekend
Have her right there in your power

We think Malcolm would be good in bed
We want Malcolm stretched out on that spread
Yes it's Malcolm that we've coveted
We think Malcolm would be good in bed

We think Malcolm would be good in bed
Yeah, we judge from what we've read
Oh dear Malcolm - looks like he just fled!
We think Malcolm would be good in bed!