I fear John’s beavin'--not OK.
I'm shocked he had a wild time with someone.
I bet she is beside herself, his Cindy hon.
Some voters'll have a change of heart.

Vicki and Johnny slumbered;
She had been knoblobbying the elf.
In labby pelt he placed his penile pelf.
Vicki had Johnny's number;
His aides had told him: "Disown
This chick, Vicki," 'cause they knew better,
And now they groan.

He had a friend in town, not his squeeze main.
For substitute wivin' the old man goes.
Now glumly he must rebuff the pundits' prose.
Will Johnny who's dame-shamed depart?

Vicki drove Johnny's hummer,
Guess he was enthralled to ball, the elf.
Bad news when he'd built back his campaign pelf.
Vicki for Johnny: bummer!
He must meet the press and moan.
Sticky fingers stuck him in fetters. . .
Sins; Cin's at home.

[instrumental insertion]

Now Johnny stands up and he whines
'bout revelations in the Times,
Guess you could say he ain't so smart.

Vicki had Johnny lumbered;
He'd wanted to ball somebody else
Than his better half and he had two belles.
Johnny's Vicki-encumbered;
You would think he shoulda known:
You can't woo The Rapture dream-wetters
If mistress-boned.

Vicki woos Johnny's lumber;
"Vicki"! rues Johnny, "bummer"!