[instrumental intro]

When you're fat
Way too round
you look for your pecker
but it can't be found
Gross distension
of your waist
You think that maybe
You should lose some weight

Your stomach's grown
You are filled with blubber
You can't see your fly
or your pud, sir
You're such a fatty
You are so damned plump
'Cause you

Eat way too much sh*t
Don't know when to quit
Stuff yourself with sh*t
Now your jeans don't fit

You're too heavy
Way too fat
And all that fried food
That you always have
Wearing a girdle
is just not too cool
But your damned waistline
Is now forty-two

It really shows
And so does your butt
From all those chili fries
That you love
Stomach's expanding
Looking like "Nine Months"
Buddy

Still you eat more sh*t
Two seats when you sit
Won't you try to quit?

[instrumental break]
[lyrics in {brackets} sung to the "doo-doo's" in the section below]

{You've become a big tub of goo}
{You cannot resist fatt'ning foods}
{Look in mirror, don't like the view}
{Makes you blue; but it's true}

[below lyrics in {brackets} sung to "ah-ah-ah's"]
{Toofatdude}
{toomuchfood}
{might...berude}
{but}
ass is way too big
You are such a pig
Cannot see your d*ck
Dude, you make me sick

Your fat gut shakes
That bites, fat boy
Approaching girls
They do re-coil
You will not bed her
No, not tonight
Your weight is the reason
You're ignored, that bites

This really blows
you have had enough
Watching life go by
From your duff
And you must see now
That you're way too plump
Glumly

Clothes no longer fit
It's time to admit
You eat too much sh*t
Diet, go on it

[instrumentals to end]
[below lyrics in {brackets} to last "doo-doo's" section out to end]
{When will you start taking a clue?}
{Now you know what you need to do}
{Losing weight, it's way overdue}
{Come on, dude; know it's true}