[instrumental intro]

Pruning plants in nude
Safety latch undone

Feeble-jerk sheared his weiner
You should have heard his loud cries of pain
{Frantic; looked for a jar}
Can they save it?
{"Please, save my weiner"}
Held it in his hand
{"Save my poor weiner"}
Looked down sadly at fly
{"Sure miss my weiner"}
"Oh, please save my gland"

"Can it be sewed on?
Hope they can sew on"

[instrumental break]


Man, that sure was dumb
He sat down and sobbed

Sat there, moaned, and did lament
"Can they somehow sew back on my pee-pee?"
{he did moan and then lament}
Asked, "When it mended would there be pain?"
{he moaned and then did again lament}
"And at the end, well, how will I pay?"
{and everyone there just looked away}
And then he started howling again in pain
{"Please, save my weinie"}
"Can you save it?"
{"Please save my weiner"}
Cradled in his hand
{"Please, here's my weiner"}
Then looked down at his fly
{"I miss my weiner"}
Held pr*ck in his hand

"Too small, throw it back"
Said Nurse - kidding 'round

[instrumental break]

Doctor said, "How dumb"
Looked down, then he frowned

Pruning shears, had unsnapped them
Penis was sheared
can't glue it back on
He roared in great pain
then pulled back his shears
his eyes grew wide
and he shook with fear
his prick looked gruesome
with blood was smeared
{He said. "Dammit, Oy Vey"}
"Can they save it?"
{Shaking; in great fear}
Manhood held in hand
{Then looked down at his fly}
"Man, that was dumb", he numbly said
{Then stumbled down to his car}
Holding it in his hands
{Should've put it in a jar}
"Can they save it?"
{"My sheared-off weiner"}

[instrumentals with "Ow's" to 'twangy' guitar notes out to end Fade]