Oh, No, no, no, no
Oh, No, no, no, no
Oh, No, no no...

A hairy old woman had me bound and gagged
That hairy old woman; she was an ugly hag
Ohh, that hairy old woman had me dressed in drag
Ummm, The hair on that woman; like a matted shag

I say H
I say A
I say I
I say R
I say Y
Oh, O
Well, L
...D
eeeewww...

That hairy old woman made me wear a thong
Uhh, the ugly old bitch played 'kickball' with my dong
Ohhh, The torment continues, it goes on and on...

(Instrumental)

UUHHHH!!

A hairy old woman had her way with me
That hairy old woman wouldn't set me free
When I was knockin' on her front door
I didn't know what she had in store
Then, suddenly I was bound and gagged
At the mercy of that old hag
Old woman; had her way with me
That hairy old woman tortured me with glee-ee-ee

That hairy old woman put me in restraints
The stuff she did to me; thought that I would faint
She made me sniff her old underpants
Then assume a submissive stance
Bound my balls with rubber bands
Made me squat on hills of ants
That woman liked abusing me
That hairy old woman; she just went "hee-hee"

("Hee-Hee")

That hairy old woman, said, "On your knees"
And then she said to me: "Stick your tongue out, please"
She spread her legs and then said, "In there"
Then pushed my face into all that hair
"That's one place I never clean"
It smelled like a full latrine
Was so gross between her thighs
Smelled like something in there died
That woman shoved my face in there
That nasty old woman had me in despair

eeeww, Gotta get away
Gotta get away, it's so damn gross
A gross beaver, oh man,
Her gross beaver, whoa man,
..Had flies
..Oh my
..No lie
..Had flies

Gawd, that's so obscene
All I say is "eeeewww"
Don't you ever wash between your thighs?
Have you ever tried a douche?
I think I'm gonna heave
Yes, chunks I'm gonna blow
Yes, I'm about to heave
My lunch I'm gonna blow - hag
I' m gonna heave
Oh, my, you nasty old woman
Oh, my, you nasty old woman...
(Fade)