Bola

They called him "Bub" down at the old rodeo,
Where they drink bad beer and make cigarettes with a rolah,
R-O-L-L-E-R.
They gawked at his two swinging balls. . .asked, "What's that?!"
And out came the name in a New England voice; he said, "Boler,"
B-O-L-A, "boler."

Well he was kind of a quizzical guy,
Though he came from the east, he said "Yipee-ki-ai"
And that "boler,"
B-O-L-A, "boler."
His cowpoke chums just could not understand
'Cause he talked with an accent. . .said "ahn" where they said "an."
And used no "r" to complete a word like "car."

It caused their ears pain; it didn't sound right:
"Undah electric cahndlelight."
But even worse was when they picked up his speech. . .
Added "r"s to vowels subconsciously.
They realized it was irrational why
They sounded like the count of letters was five to say "bola."
"Bo-bo-bo-bo-boler. "Bo-bo-bo-bo-boler.
"Bo-bo-bo-bo-boler. Bo-bo-bo-bo-boler."

Then he went away,
Back to the East Coast.
They thought it was toast:
The way they'd talked when they'd followed his lead.

Talkin' bout swinging balls, they want to say
A word with no "r," they clearly demarcate as just "bola."
"Bo-bo-bo-bo-bola."

"Gulls will be buoys"—fine for "language-guide" toys
You buy for gag gift in a Boston bookstoah. . .
Uh, I mean store: S-T-O-R-E, "stoah!"

Though he went home several weeks before,
They still misspeak; say "stoah" when they mean "store."
That "boler" guy, they couldn't understand—
They're now in the same boat. . .call it "cahtamarahn."

They said, "If you cahn't beat 'em, join em," and
Moved to Hahvahd Squauh" and became "Cah Tawk" fans,
Also "bolas"; they're "cahndlepin bolas,"
Swingin'-three-balls bolas, bo-bo-bo-bo-bolas. . . .