Friday night's my bachelor party
Saturday I'm sore and sorry
Sunday came, got smashed and prowled again
Wonder if I had much fun?
Got severe pain in my bum
And I don't know what's become of my loose change

Now my mouth feels like a cow-pat zone
I'm in my bed, but not alone
Did the booze all go recyclin' in my brain?
It's no big surprise that I've
No control of my hand jive
And I can't recall from whence or where you came

You stayed all night?
My memory's hazy
But I must say it's a dirty trick - you're cloakin' more
Turned on the light
It's getting' shady
You veiled your dong - it didn't show
When we played at night

Remember how I stroked your hair
Saw nothing odd erected there
A catalogue of passion was compiled
Didn't know you were a man
I learned drunkenness ain't grand
'Cus you quite displayed discreetness and some guile

Now after all those beers and wine you
Find I failed to classify you
Did quite see you're brazen in the hay
You amazed me whole night through
Had a ball or maybe two
But I shouldn't want the guys to think I'm gay

You stayed all night?
I'm in a daze-y
Guess you thought it not too chivalric to expose more
Bits here did unite
Bits were disarrang-ed
Displayed a dong - you let it show
But not 'til the light

You stayed all night?
My eyes are glazey
Now I guess you found this maverick by crook and more
Stand stunned at sight
Dear Lord, do save me
Wish I was wrong, but all I know
You look good in tights
Displayed a dong, but not 'til the light
Displayed a dong, but not 'til the light

(repeat)