Even though I'm one month
Sometimes I get so afraid
They say crocs are so strong
Lustily lookin' my way

I know my old man isn't bright
To sell the world an ocker-ish line
Be on the televiz tonight
And Animal Planet's out of it's mind

But I won't make a meal
Just at the best - apéritif or a scone
'Cus it's insanely surreal
Stevie's tender moment at home

Yes I know it's a gaff
But just when he ought to face facts
Dimwitted Dad's a loudmouth
Cause he's just a-cov'ring his tracks

If the croc gets too close
Rely on this loon to escape
Choose that moment to doze
I'll end up as croc-o-late cake

It's an endless newsreel
Prime time spot ad nauseum it's shown
Seems like a wobbly ideal
Is Stevie's tender moment at home

Now the world's tone agrees
Crikey, clown - those excuses won't fly
Aussies' man of the yearious dude
Kiss that coveted title goodbye

(Stevie's tender moment at home)
Stevie's tender moment
Made us all groan
(Stevie's tender moment at home)

I know this drongo isn't right
His fam'ly devotion is pride
Deranged - his latitude's a fright
Begun bout of Irwin-i-cide

It's a bus-i-ness deal
The Aussie Zoo's getting much better known
Though I was almost a meal
Oh Stevie's tender moment at home

Ahhhh (Stevie's tender moment at home)
Stevie's tender moment at home
(Stevie's tender moment at home)
Stevie's tender moment
Idiot zone
(Stevie's tender moment at home)
Stevie's tender moment at home