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Song Parodies -> "Totally Blitzed on SweeTarts"
Original Song Title:
"Total Eclipse of the Heart"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Bonnie Tyler
Parody Song Title:
"Totally Blitzed on SweeTarts"
Parody Written by:
Spaff.com
The Lyrics
Too often the spirit of Halloween gets buried under all of the crass commercialism. So please take a moment to pause and reflect on the true meaning of Halloween. Which, of course, is CANDY.
(Trick or treat)
Every Halloween I get a little bit crazy
when the Snickers hit my brain
(Trick or treat)
Every Halloween I get a little bit wired
from all the Pixy Stix in my veins
(Junior Mints)
Every Halloween I get a little unbalanced
when I read the jokes in Ba-zooka Joes
(Tootsie Rolls)
Every Halloween I get a little hysterical
and shove some M&Ms up my nose
(Milky Way - bite size)
Every Halloween I eat my pride
(Almond Joy - bite size)
Every Halloween I'm Nestle-fried
And I need a Skor tonight (Need a Skor bar)
And I need my Sugar Daddy
And there's no junk like Hershey's Bites (Bless you Hershey)
And my dealer's Willy Wonka
And we're doing the Musketeers right (All for candy!)
Bring the Dum-Dums along
Together we'll do Reeses till our brain cells are shot
I'll even eat the Smarties if it's all they got
(Smarties suck)
We gotta bust a move - it's almost ten o'clock
And still we have to trick-or-treat for twenty more blocks!
Hypoglycemia bites!
I'll never get to sleep tonight
(I'm never coming down tonight)
Last year's bag of treats - made it all the way home
This year's didn't make it so far
Ate it in the street
Totally blitzed on SweeTarts
Last year I dressed up - as a fairy-tale queen
This year I'm a skank from the park
Turnin' tricks for treats
Totally blitzed on SweeTarts
Totally blitzed on SweeTarts
(Baby Ruth bite size)
(Nestle Crunch bite size)
(Trick or treat...)
Every Halloween I get a little bit crazy
when the Snickers hit my brain
(Trick or treat)
Every Halloween I get a little bit wired
from all the Pixy Stix in my veins
(Junior Mints)
Every Halloween I get a little unbalanced
when I read the jokes in Ba-zooka Joes
(Tootsie Rolls)
Every Halloween I get a little hysterical
and shove some M&Ms up my nose
(Milky Way - bite size)
Every Halloween I eat my pride
(Almond Joy - bite size)
Every Halloween I'm Nestle-fried
And I need a Skor tonight (Need a Skor bar)
And I need my Sugar Daddy
And there's no junk like Hershey's Bites (Bless you Hershey)
And my dealer's Willy Wonka
And we're doing the Musketeers right (All for candy!)
Bring the Dum-Dums along
Together we'll do Reeses till our brain cells are shot
I'll even eat the Smarties if it's all they got
(Smarties suck)
We gotta bust a move - it's almost ten o'clock
And still we have to trick-or-treat for twenty more blocks!
Hypoglycemia bites!
I'll never get to sleep tonight
(I'm never coming down tonight)
Last year's bag of treats - made it all the way home
This year's didn't make it so far
Ate it in the street
Totally blitzed on SweeTarts
Last year I dressed up - as a fairy-tale queen
This year I'm a skank from the park
Turnin' tricks for treats
Totally blitzed on SweeTarts
Totally blitzed on SweeTarts
(Baby Ruth bite size)
(Nestle Crunch bite size)
(Trick or treat...)
Copyright 2003+ Spaff.com
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 3 | 3 | 3 | ||||||||
| 2 | 1 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 2 | 2 | 1 | ||||||||
| 4 | 1 | 1 | 3 | ||||||||
| 5 | 5 | 6 | 5 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
Funny!! Esp. the skank turned out for tricks or treats. :D Btw, I think I got 2 cavities and hypoglycemia just reading this. :D Really good job!
Surely you'd get hyperglycaemia - too much sugar rather than too little? It's good, spaff - but nowhere near your best...
Despite the similarities to Patrick Yoness' classic "Totally Burned My Pop Tart" -- one of the smokin'est parodies ever written -- this was SWEET!
Adagio: Thanks, and sorry to send you to the dentist.
Michaelopedia: I was halfway through writing this before I checked amiright and discovered that several other authors (including you) had already had already discovered the irresistible sub of "totally blitzed" for "total eclipse." Sigh. I finished it up anyway, confident that it was still very different from the others. I've just read (and enjoyed) PY's "Totally Burned" - is it the "totally" in the title you find too similar?
Philbo: A good comment, but nowhere near your best. ;-) Yeah, hyperglycemia sucks too - and probably makes more sense in this context. So thanks - I'll adopt your suggestion for my web site.
Michaelopedia: I was halfway through writing this before I checked amiright and discovered that several other authors (including you) had already had already discovered the irresistible sub of "totally blitzed" for "total eclipse." Sigh. I finished it up anyway, confident that it was still very different from the others. I've just read (and enjoyed) PY's "Totally Burned" - is it the "totally" in the title you find too similar?
Philbo: A good comment, but nowhere near your best. ;-) Yeah, hyperglycemia sucks too - and probably makes more sense in this context. So thanks - I'll adopt your suggestion for my web site.
No, not your best. Still fivesworthy of course; your best is at least twelvesworthy or so. It helps that I hated the original and had to trust you on the pacing ("bite size" for "bright eyes" was great). Also, I agree Smarties suck. Oh, and the Pop Tart song Michael mentions is good too but not very similar to this at all. Welcome back.
Great job
"Milky Way - bite size" had me in stitches! Good job!
Muchas gracias, BF and Merry.
Philbo and C4P: Not my best? I guess I set the bar way too high with "Anal Vice" - everything else pales in comparison. This must be how Billy Ray Cyrus feels, knowing nothing will ever be as good as Achy Breaky Heart. Or the mullet.
Philbo and C4P: Not my best? I guess I set the bar way too high with "Anal Vice" - everything else pales in comparison. This must be how Billy Ray Cyrus feels, knowing nothing will ever be as good as Achy Breaky Heart. Or the mullet.
Spaff you can parody anything well, Nice job man & a case of beer.
Thanx, Wild. Be sure to bring that to the monster bash, when/wherever we decide to have it. It'll help us all be more attractive.
Still thought it was pretty funny and well paced actyually perfectly paced almost 555!
Thank you, Jack.
You're welcome Spaff
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