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Song Parodies -> "Rectal Examinations (The Proctologists' Lament)"
Original Song Title:
"Private Investigations"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Dire Straits
Parody Song Title:
"Rectal Examinations (The Proctologists' Lament)"
Parody Written by:
Merry & Pippin
The Lyrics
If you do not know the OS, a low bit-rate MP3 can be found here
Colonoscopy decreed !
Your face, it tenses...
In increasing degrees
The suspense is...
Proctologic’ infiltration
Fibr’optic wire-y
It’s approached with trepidation
It’s not like you all admire me...
Hear invective blurt-out retorts
Prodding some will hurt
You only meet a**holes
In this line of work
Anal probing reasons
The rectum’s never used to it
So when I find the sphincter
Lie still - and get used to it
Prostrate for prostate - put your end on display
Where’d tube of lube go anyway ?
To throttle me briskly I do know you would prize
Gloves on the digits leave a pain between the thighs
Scarred for life ?
That indicates some...
Rectal examinations
Your face, it tenses...
In increasing degrees
The suspense is...
Proctologic’ infiltration
Fibr’optic wire-y
It’s approached with trepidation
It’s not like you all admire me...
Hear invective blurt-out retorts
Prodding some will hurt
You only meet a**holes
In this line of work
Anal probing reasons
The rectum’s never used to it
So when I find the sphincter
Lie still - and get used to it
Prostrate for prostate - put your end on display
Where’d tube of lube go anyway ?
To throttle me briskly I do know you would prize
Gloves on the digits leave a pain between the thighs
Scarred for life ?
That indicates some...
Rectal examinations
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| 5 | 8 | 8 | 8 |
User Comments
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I had to laugh at this - but I'm glad I'm not a bloke...
OMG. . .OMG. . .what a wonderful parody. . .that's amazing (Rectal Examinations??!!) I never would have thought of that.
fits the "tense" tone of the OS well...this is right up my....er....alley
Sounds like such a depressing line of work.
Enjoyed the funny take on this deep subject
he he
Just joined this site and Dire Straits has always been one of my favorite bands. This one seemed like it would have been tough to parody, but this is exceptional!
Thanks Timmy1000, and Merry Christmas!
Well put, Mer & Pip! I used to work in the hospitals so I'm exposed to this kind of thing I get so used to it. I also watch Discovery Health Channel often and saw documentaries on Rectal Exams. Interesting. 5's.
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