Some things in life you lick
When you want to make them stick
Other things have self-adhesive glue
When you're sending an epistle
Don't grumble, use some spittle
And here's a little tip, from me to you:

And.....
Always lick on the right side of the stamp
[Slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp]
Always stick on the white side of the stamp
[Slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp]

If something isn't sticking
Check which side that you are licking
And that's the side without the picture on
And if it hasn't stuck
And it didn't taste all yuck
I guess the side you spittled on was wrong

So...
Always lick on the light side of the stamp
[Slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp]
Always lick on the bright side of the stamp
[Slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp]
For reduced aggravation
Ensure perfect orientation
A stamp stuck on the wrong way up falls off
Another golden rule
Just lick a bit, don't drool
You do not want to lick the glue right off

And...
Always lick on the gummy side of the flap
[Slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp]
Even though the envelope tastes of crap
[Slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp]
A little bit of spit
Is just the job for it
You could always use some sellotape, it's true.
So smile and raise a toast
As you drop it in the post
Just remember to write who you're sending to

And...
Always lick on the right side of the stamp
[Slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp]
Always stick on the white side of the stamp
[Slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp]
(repeat to fade)