We care but not
We care but not
We care but not
About the ass of J-Lo, bubs for Brad and she
About how Jenny An'ston likes to take her tea
We care but not
About the price of those fake boobs that film star bought
We care but not
'Bout overseas, where Kid Rock buys his jocks, yeah

Oh it's a crappy magazine, what made me do it?
It only took me seven minutes to get through it

We care but not
We care but not
We care but not
'Bout Dido's gambling or how Bush, at college, streaked
We care but not
About how slack is Shaq in sack, or Leif's charge sheet

We care but not
How Tom Jones fell and – how balls are Hilton's world
We care but not
Tom's Scientology – it's gonna make me hurl, yeah!

It's such a dreadful read, surprised some people do it
How Maradona shot to fame but then he blew it
Knowing what Princess Di got up to with James Hewitt
About the secret verse of "Sailing" by Rod Stewart
'Bout Johnny Denver, how his plane, he badly flew it
About the Hitler diary, what is written thru it
How Oprah Winfrey claims she's really an Inuit
It's such a pack of lies we all can see right through it

We care but not
About the half-baked crap that's in your magazine
We care but not
About how Enya fluffed her latest movie scene
We care but not
It's asinine-y
We care but not
It makes me glum
We care but not
About an Elvis sighting
Pics of Britney's bum

We care but not
About the Carpenters and ick!, how Karen died
We care but not
About Greg Norman's yacht that's fourteen stories wide

We care but not
About ole Kurt Cobain, and how himself, he topped
We care but not
For this insipid mag - you know it ain't worth squat, yeah

Sad lack of judgement made me spend my money on it
My mind was addled, as I read, I said "Doggone it!"
I could have used that dosh to buy a decent meal
To chew on sandpaper would have much more appeal
Instead I read a bunch of hogwash that's not real
I should have saved my money, made a term deposit
Instead I threw the useless rag into the closet, now