Song Parodies -> "The Dwarver"

Original Song Title:

"The Trooper"

^(MP3)

Original Performer:

Iron Maiden

Parody Song Title:

"The Dwarver"

Parody Written by:

Telamies [FIN]

The Lyrics

These alternative lyrics to this awesome Maiden song depict the battle on the Fields of Pelennor, in The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King. And from a Dwarf's point of view. Yes, you guessed it; Gimli, Son of Glóin. These are the first alternative lyrics I've done in English (Finnish is my first language), but I think I did pretty good, and it was fun, too. The title is pretty corny, couldn't think of a better one. Anyway, here it is:

You'll take my life but I'll take your shoe
You'll fire arrows but I'll evade those too
So when you're waiting for the yell 'Attaaaaack!'
You'd better back off, don't you know who I am?

The Horn of Orc sounds, let the games begin
On this day I'll make sure we'll win
The smell of Orcish blood and Ogre sh1t
As I jump up and one's throat I split

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

I start to sweat and wouldn't want to run
'Cause we Dwarves don't think it's that much fun
And as the Elvish dude joins the fight by my side
I yell at him "Why don't you just run and hide?!"

We hack 'n slash, dodge 'n punch 'n pound
As they one by one fall to the ground
And we get closer to the Orcish Boss
They are so foolish for my path to cross

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

An Olyphant shakes the ground with its feet
As me and the others are like "What the sheet?!"
But then the Elf hops on the Olyphant's neck
Shoots arrows at it and soon it's a wreck

And as I stand there staring at this guy
Who is an Elf and who makes Orcs die
And as he's bragging 'bout our game he won
I just mumble "That still counts as one!"

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

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