The Pooper

You take a dump and I take one too
Why do you think they call it number 2
You best get ready for the next attack
Another turd is coming out your crack
The Hershey squirts and the pain begins
Upon this throne is where no one wins
The smell of pooh like the smell of death
You plug your nose and hold your breath


Oh oh oh oh oh…

You break a sweat and it ain’t much fun
You clench your cheeks because you got the runs
And as you race toward the toilet stall
You pray to god that you don’t slip and fall

A final push, try not to make a sound
You grab some paper and reach around
You better wipe twice, one won’t be enough
You don’t wanna wear any of that stuff.

Oh oh oh oh oh…

Whatever you ate, man it just ain’t right
Just hope it doesn’t come back on your date tonight
You’ll clench and squeeze but you’ll feel the urge
You’ll never win against the impending surge
And if you’re dumb enough you’ll probly try
But you’ll just wreck your pants and your date will cry
And you’ll be by yourself, but you’re not alone
You’ll have your toilet paper and your mighty throne.