(Alarm rings 0700 hours as Rebecca Black's "Friday" plays outside.)
I'm waking in my bedroom when that song begins to play
That describes days of the week, with a focus on Friday
'Cos at seven o'clock, she wakes up to perform her wrath.
My patience is for naught before this crap,
Before this crap...

Though I change to the station with metal,
Iron Maiden doesn't appear at all
So I can't go up the irons to escape.
For you see, all they play is this "singer"
Who does use Auto-Tune as her stinger,
Poisoning all who will hear all of this ear rape.

I check KQ-92, there is no luck;
Tom Barnard, were he there, would just say "shucks,"
But he ain't present, just a substitute.
Christian station? Really sorry,
Just because it might seem family-friendly
They are supportive of what's good for YouTube Poop.

As I sulk, I have one last resort,
Which is YouTube, but before all too short,
Two more dung-piles of song play right away.
I try to find a B-side of Zeppelin,
But then I find out it just won't happen
'Cos "Prom Night" and "My Moment" will play all day.

Mark my words, Becky: You are corrupting,
Stealing, lying, cheating and disrupting
An industry that is already troubled.
If never you would hear my rock and metal,
At least keep you hands off my songs; don't fiddle
With what is left, or your peril will be double.

(Long instrumental solo)

Yeah, yeah yeah...Rebecca is to blame! (2x)
Yeah...