We met in a bar where there's wretched café.
She was quite destitute; her house went away.
I's able to bank[roll] her--
We would file in queue
To purchase some bagels,
Bagels to chew.

We had scanned menu pages
For vittles to scarf.
We were looking for tidbits
That'd not cause us to barf.
I'd be draining some spirits
Or at least have a brew,
But none's served with bagels;
Ain't none. . .taboo.

Instead I stared into joe fare.
I'd thought, then I'd bought
A cup--tasted like lye.
It was whiskey I wanted, with lunch meat--
I'd judge that tasty, 'specially a bottle of rye.

So I coughed and I choked
At the thought of a scone:
"I just can't stand the savor
Of that meal," I intone.

Then I blended some cream
In toxic caffeine stew
And dunked in a bagel,
Bagel to chew.

And it beat back my hunger,
But I wish I'd known
There's 13 in the number. . .
A dozen you own.
I got twelve--I was reamed;
Thirteenth didn't accrue.
I'm raped of one bagel,
Bagel to chew.