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Song Parodies -> "Carole Lombard’s Legs"

Original Song Title:

"Bette Davis Eyes"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Kim Carnes

Parody Song Title:

"Carole Lombard’s Legs"

Parody Written by:

Vincent Paterno

The Lyrics

How come no one else has thought of this? People love Carole Lombard for all sorts of reasons -- her beautiful face, her sparkling cinematic personality, her timeless approach towards life, and if you’re like me, her gorgeous, lovely, creamy legs, especially when she was only nineteen years old. You will never forget them once you’ve looked at them. Her legs sure are beautiful!!
Her 20’s pics untold,
A quaint slice of cheesecake,
Her gams get never old,
Those are Carole Lombard’s legs…

She'll turn her sweet stare on you,
You’ll wish she cooked you eggs,
Through summer and in snow,
Shown were Carole Lombard’s legs,

What a figure, ain’t no “Sinner[s] in the Sun”*, her legs sure pleased you,
Ain’t precocious, and she knows just what it takes,
To make all males blush,
Tell her, “Boy, you’re terrific cheesecake!”**
Glance at Carole Lombard’s legs!

From work, you go to home
You saw her first that day,
Now, spend some time alone,
You’ll love Carole Lombard’s legs,

You’ll run out of things to say,
Once you saw her cheesecake,
You’ll stay up right ‘til two,
Gazing Carole Lombard’s legs,

What a figure, ain’t no “Sinner[s] in the Sun”*, her legs sure pleased you,
Ain’t precocious, and she knows just what it takes,
To make all males blush,
Tell her, “Boy, you’re terrific cheesecake!”**
Glance at Carole Lombard’s legs!

What a figure, ain’t no “Sinner[s] in the Sun”*, her legs sure pleased you,
Ain’t precocious, and she knows just what it takes,
To make all males blush,
Tell her, “Boy, you’re terrific cheesecake!”**
Glance at Carole Lombard’s legs!

Mack Sennett***, George Briant, Albert Einstein,
All loved Carole Lombard’s legs,

“Her legs are cute!” “Where’s the tissues?” “God, I love you!”
We love Carole Lombard’s legs!
*“Sinners in the Sun” was one of five Carole Lombard films released in 1932 and a perfect opportunity to look at her in a swimsuit. **The line said by an 11-year-old Boy Scout to “Roxanne” on “Beat the Clock” in 1951. Raise your hand if you remember that story from this site. Hmmm, no response? Kinda what I thought, too. ***The well-known Hollywood short film producer who first realized just how beautiful Carole’s legs were. Holy smokes, she sure had a terrific pair of legs. Stunning, lovely, creamy; oh, and — “Simple as the day is long…”

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 15

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