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Song Parodies -> "Pepto-Bismol"
Original Song Title:
"Hallelujah"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Leonard Cohen
Parody Song Title:
"Pepto-Bismol"
Parody Written by:
Patrick McWilliams
The Lyrics
An overlooked cut on an obscure album has become the go-to anthem for every solemn occasion and a standard age-inappropriate selection for pre-teen girls singing in talent contests. I watch a lot of daytime TV and figure there is no place where this song doesn't fit.
A sticky liquid, sickly pink
A shelf above the bathroom sink
You take it when your stomach's feeling dismal
When dealing with the signs of flu
You have to hold your nose, it's true
The texture and the taste are quite abysmal
Pepto-Bismol, Pepto-Bismol
Pepto-Bismol, Pepto-Bismol
Soon age and weather will begin
To take a toll upon your skin
The thought of growing old--a sad emotion
But you can heal those patches rough
When soap and water aren't enough
Apply a handful of this magic potion:
Jergens Lotion, Jergens Lotion
Jergens Lotion, Jergens Lotion
By now this cough is getting old
The symptoms of a winter cold
I find it hard to sleep for all the fussin'
Each time I breathe, I start to wheeze
While spreading germs with every sneeze
What can I take to silence all my cussin'?
Robitussin, Robitussin
Robitussin, Robitussin
Embarrassed when caught passing gas?
The smell emitted from your (rear)
It could clear a church or a casino
Before I found this little pill
I used to make my neighbors ill
That's no longer happening to me--no!
I take Beano, I take Beano
I take Beano, I take Beano
A shelf above the bathroom sink
You take it when your stomach's feeling dismal
When dealing with the signs of flu
You have to hold your nose, it's true
The texture and the taste are quite abysmal
Pepto-Bismol, Pepto-Bismol
Pepto-Bismol, Pepto-Bismol
Soon age and weather will begin
To take a toll upon your skin
The thought of growing old--a sad emotion
But you can heal those patches rough
When soap and water aren't enough
Apply a handful of this magic potion:
Jergens Lotion, Jergens Lotion
Jergens Lotion, Jergens Lotion
By now this cough is getting old
The symptoms of a winter cold
I find it hard to sleep for all the fussin'
Each time I breathe, I start to wheeze
While spreading germs with every sneeze
What can I take to silence all my cussin'?
Robitussin, Robitussin
Robitussin, Robitussin
Embarrassed when caught passing gas?
The smell emitted from your (rear)
It could clear a church or a casino
Before I found this little pill
I used to make my neighbors ill
That's no longer happening to me--no!
I take Beano, I take Beano
I take Beano, I take Beano
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User Comments
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This parody doesn't coat, but, like its subject, it does soothe and relieve.
The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.
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