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Song Parodies -> "Restrict Yourself"

Original Song Title:

"Express Yourself"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Madonna

Parody Song Title:

"Restrict Yourself"

Parody Written by:

Below Average Dave

The Lyrics

I'm at Soundclick
C'mon now
You can't believe you've lost
Well I've got something to say about it
and it's that I'm loving it

I go for second best buddy
So I'm not chased by the rest
So know this fact, don't have to
Go and impress, keep it real and buddy
Then you'll keep 'em off your heals

When you watch top sports teams
An upset makes fans glow
Be the best of the Idol pack
It is usu'lly them that go
What you need is to stick around but
leave gold to the rest of the crowd
Get your cash and fake a few frowns
And then just laugh when the best fall down

Not bad in second place buddy
Won't have to talk to their face
I know I know you want to
Beat out the rest, this I feel but maybe
you should learn the real deal

We point fingers when that Tiger Woods cheats
but we hit the sheets no one cares
Britney Spears may take home all the fame
But when she farts or lip syncs, we hear
So if you want some peace in life
Just go and play your cards right and have fun
Second best or third is enough
'Cause it's much tougher out there once you've won

Don't try to be the best buddy
Just make sure you pass the test
you know you know what to do
Don't you impress, play the field and that is
how you'll get your success sealed

Reserve yourself
No point in winning
Control yourself
wait, wait, wait, wait
So what if you can't be proud
It's best to be in the crowd
If you get second a lot
It's cash and peace that you've got

And when you're old some may forget you
But there's no need to be all sad
When you're nearly gone, you won't need fame, just booze
So my advice you should heed to restrain yourself
watch your health, hey hey

Do you want the press to find you
When you put on eighty plus pounds?
Those on top, it's them the press hounds
So if you are not on top, please don't frown

When you have won, you'll soon regret it
Think about the peace you once had
Trying to move on, But you cannot leave it
You should listen to me so please

Don't try to rule the rest buddy
Build yourself a safety nest
you know you know it's about
Your treasure chest, that's for real, and that is
This is how I truly feel

Throw it yourself
You've got to blow it
Just watch yourself
hey hey hey hey

So if you're on top the show
Best you take it slow
Research what I've taught
The losers never get caught

Restrain yourself
Hold back yourself, hey hey

So if you're wondering how
come to me I'll teach you pal
Get second a lot
It's no fun up on top

Restrict yourself
Good for your health, You'll see

Don't matter what you think now
When you cannot beat the best out
Just aim for a spot
Getting second is hot

Restrict yourself
This has been a Below Average Dave Production, All Rights Reserved

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
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 4   0
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 5   9
 9
 9
 

User Comments

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Mark Scotti - March 12, 2010 - Report this comment
555 blasts off a bullhorn!!
Christie Marie M - March 12, 2010 - Report this comment
I never minded being either in second, third, even last place! At the same token, it would be nice to be in first place. But if I do win fIrst, I wanted to be awarded first place regarding how much I strive, how hard I worked to achieve my goals, and how much effort I put in. Great satire on reminding us that it doesn't matter if we win or lose. I'll keep your song in mind at the parody contests, also! But you did win 555 first place awards for this one!
Matthias - March 12, 2010 - Report this comment
The 2nd best parody of the day!
Phil Nelson - March 12, 2010 - Report this comment
Well written
TJC - March 12, 2010 - Report this comment
Some fine Idolâ„¢ yuck-ulation!
Rex - March 13, 2010 - Report this comment
"you won't need fame, just booze". That's certainly my philosophy :-). This sorta reminded me of "If Ya Wanna Be Happy" Jimmy Soul, but with that one-of-a-kind BAD take on things.
Agrimorfee - March 13, 2010 - Report this comment
I am so sorry but this one just flew over my head completely. I feel like a lonesome dolt who didn't get the message, seeing the rest of the plaudits above.
Kristof Robertson - March 14, 2010 - Report this comment
A wonderful philosophy to live by, Dave...being on top is probably NEVER as cool as you think it would be. Middle of the pack is MUCH more comfortable. 555
Christie Marie M - March 14, 2010 - Report this comment
(Artistry 69) Nice to read this parody again, Dave! As I've said, great reminder that it doesn't matter if you win or lose! For this award winning parody, "express yourself with 555's! Great take on the OS!
Syncronos - March 22, 2010 - Report this comment
I should give you all 4s to keep with the philosophy, but this is too good for that
bobpiecheese - March 25, 2010 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Aw, I feel all warm and fuzzy inside. What a nice way to finish up the round! Fantastic parody, 555, yaddah yaddah yaddah.

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