She was more like an alien queen from a sci-fi scene
I said "I don't watch the Food Network", so just back off
Who is she, anyway? Is she famous? Don't think so
She said "Top that cheesecake with pralines", seems wrong

They told me her name was Paula Deen, and she caused a scene
Been criticized for her show, and her food, and nothing more
Who would eat her crap, not me, anymore


People always told her "Be careful what you do
Don't go around clogging people's hearts"
And mother always told me not believe what's on TV
Cuz it might tell me and cause me to grow fat and obese

Paula Deen is not my girl
She's just a cook with some gruesome food
And I know it ain't good
She cooks real bad food, but I never would!


So many days and so many nights
Her sight gave me a fright
But who can stand that crazyass woman?
Her recipes and plans
Don't read her book, it's just for crooks
So take my strong advice, cake for breakfast ain't nice
Do think twice

She told my baby how to make a souflé
I rue that day
She showed how to bake a German cake
A German you take!
Go on, get away, don't listen to her, baby!


People always told me "Be careful what you eat
For all you know, it could stop your heart"
She made pasta with salami
Took some onions and sour cream
I thought "Is this a bad dream?"
I wanted to scream


Paula Deen is not my cook
She's just a gal with questionable taste
Her show is such a waste
Paula Deen is not my chef
She's just a fatty who is FAT FAT FAT
What'd you say 'bout that?
She says "Butter is good", but I know I shouldn't
She says "Just a spoon", but I know she's a loon
Paula Deen is not my host
She's just a crone who needs to pick up her slack
Cuz she gets so much flak
She says "Just some more", gonna fall through the floor
She says "Mmm, yum!", so much food in her gums
I'm not the only one
Paula Deen is not my girl
Paula Deen is not my cook
Paula Deen is not my chef
Paula Deen is not my host
Paula Deen is not my type
Paula Deen just ain't right