Song Parodies -> "The Profit Song"

Original Song Title:

"The Prophet Song"

^(MP3)

Original Performer:

"The Profit Song"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

If you don't know the story of how the Editor of the Daily Mirror, Piers Morgan, bought �20k of shares in Viglen just before his tipsters ran a puff for Viglen in their column, click the link at the bottom...

Oh oh readers of the press
Listen to the editor the profit he made
Beware the form that's puffed in here
Listen to the conman

I dreamed I saw Piers Morgan there
Coining in dosh from his Viglen shares
Shares he bought 'fore the Mirror ran
The piece which made his readers get theirs
I watched as pride filled his rounded face
Hopes of the prosecution's case
'I didn't read' I heard him plead
So spake in the court did editor Morgan

Oh oh readers of the press
Listen to the pundit the profit he made
For shares may rise as well as fall
Gamble on your own hand

Ah ah punters of the land
Try to find the new lie shake my hand
Try and buy the new milk cow
Returns like the right stuff

He told of shares giving high return
Piling up dosh you don't need to earn
Thick, too thick all the wretches run
These things like sheep now waiting their turn
Insider deals in the pundit's brain
Wanting his own his precious gain
The shares will fall, police will call
Arrests all round will be your fortune

Oh oh readers of the press
Listen to the warning the editor said
For those who hear and mark my words
Listen to the good plan

Oh oh oh oh and two by two my human zoo
They'll be running for to sell
Running for to sell out while they can

Oh sell what you've got,
Who heed me not then all your shares will tumble
Oh sell the lot
Deceive you not the share price it will stumble
Then it will crumble

Ah people can make money
And now I know and now I know
And now I know and now I know
How you make money
And now I know and now I know
Now I know now I know
Now I know now I know
Now I know now I know
Now I know
What great surprise these shares will rise
Profits abound abound abound abound
Abound abound abound abound
Now I know now I know
Now I know now I know
Now I know now I know
Now I know now I know
Now I know now I know
Now I know
Wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo
Listen to the guys listen to the guys listen to the guys
Listen to the guys listen to the guys, man
Ha ha
Ha ha Ha ha Ha ha
Ha ha Ha ha Ha ha
Ha ha Ha ha Ha ha
Ha ha Ha ha Ha ha
Ha ha Ha ha Ha ha
Ha ha Ha ha Ha ha
Ha ha
Ha ha
Ha ha
Sell here, I'm buying
Sell here, I'm buying
Sell here, I'm buying
Ha ha-aa ha-aaaa
Listen to the man listen to the man listen to the man listen
to the conman

God will you bless the CPS
So jail all around will be their fortune
Oh oh readers of the press
Prudence is the answer, though it makes less
The market falls a voice I hear
Talk to the ombudsman
I'll have a beer, then I'll go and
Talk to the ombudsman

Read what BBC news had to say about it

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John Jenkins - June 09, 2005 - Report this comment

Very appropriate OS to use for this topic and very well executed. I'm not familiar with the term dosh, but I assume it is the spread between buying and selling price. In any case, in the end, I'll share a beer with you.

martha - June 10, 2005 - Report this comment

briliant one phil!!

Phil Alexander - June 10, 2005 - Report this comment

JJ - "Dosh"=money.
When I wrote this one, I'd had the "Profit Song" idea for a while, but nothing that really bit.. then Piers Moron weaselled out of his profiteering by suggesting that, as editor, he didn't read the share tips his hacks were puffing, and it all came together.

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